This wasn’t the worst time I got sick but is related to the worst bathroom ever. I was at a friend’s after a house party and I had to pee. I waited and waited. No one was coming out so I started banging on the door. The door was stuck but my friends ripped off the door only to find some guy passed out on the floor…

I threw up in my office parking garage one Wednesday morning because I was so hungover.

Dairy Queen!

August 1997. My sister and I drive from Houston to Mandeville LA (across the lake from New Orleans) to stay with my best friend. We do the drive through at a DQ in Welsh - she gets steak fingers. As soon as we’re on the Atchafalaya causeway - a 14 mile bridge across a beautiful swamp, with no shoulder or…

We were a pile of classy broads. Or a pack of idiots. Mostly both.

It amazes me that codeine is OTC in Europe but I have to jump thru hoops for my rx here.

I was thirteen. I had a heart arrhythmia at the time that would occur sporadically, causing my heart rate to skyrocket and take sometimes hours to return to normal without medical intervention. I was on somewhat ineffective meds at the time contemplating a procedure to fix it.

Shortly after college, I worked at a coffee shop inside an office building. We were on the first floor, the nearest restroom was on the... third. I opened the store, which meant getting there at 5. One catastrophically hungover morning, I had to ride the elevator up two floors to vomit in a classy commercial bank…

I’m a middle school teacher with an average class size of 30. There’s a 3-hour stretch in the mornings during which I don’t have time to use the bathroom. That’s only been a problem once... Halfway through 2nd period I started getting stomach cramps and cold sweats. Called the office for coverage, but they didn’t have…

So this is my sister’s story. Every year for Christmas my family would see a holiday performance of some sort. This year was The Nutcracker. We were super excited to dress up and go to the fancy performance hall downtown. I think I was I was around 11 or 12 and my sister was 13/14. So we got our seats and excitedly…

I was lucky enough to go on an extended vacation to celebrate graduating college. The total travel time from airport to airport was almost exactly 24 hours, although “only” about 12 of those were actually in the air.

In Marseille in a terrible airbnb. I had the shakes, a fever, the poops. Then we took a train to Nice and I was so sick I couldn't even move my head for fear of dying. I think I made my then-boyfriend, now-husband terrified because I wasn't speaking and just staring forward with steely resolve to make it off the…

Last year, I was back in MD visiting, and I woke up on my second day there with some abdominal pain. I figured it was cramps because I was supposed to get my period soon and I always get bad cramps. I cancelled a few plans for early in the day because I was in pain, but decided to still go to WV to see my BFF from…

I am a school teacher in a “special area”, so I didn’t know a lot of the other classroom teachers so much. When one was getting married, I went on the bachelorette (school) bus bar crawl they were having. It was a bit of a strange start as we hop on the bus and the lady bus driver recognizes us as her daughter goes to…

Easy. My friends (v. underage) and I were v. drunk in our small home town. Our standard operating procedure was to head to the all-night restaurant (Then VIPs, now Denny's.) and request a table in a girl's section who had once slept with my boyfriend. (High school!) After being seated, I proceeded to lay down in the…

It’s more like the worst time I got sick not where, but one time right before I move, and it’s also my birthday, I invited people over to say goodbye and drink a lot of liquor of course, but then I got really bad allergies from moving all of the boxes around in my dusty little room. I was an absolute mess. My voice…

The first time I donated blood plasma for extra cash as an undergrad, I passed out afterwards in a chair in the lobby and pissed the chair. People were around and it was so embarrassing.

Back in the late 80s, I lived with my sister in Dallas. One year we threw a truly epic Fat Tuesday party, with Hurricanes as the beverage of choice. I drank a lot of Hurricanes.

Oh my, where do I begin? Was it the time I puked on the shoe of my crush in high school? Was it the time I backed up the toilet at work because my poop was so big it wouldn't go down? Or was it the time I was severely dehydrated (for some odd reason) and shit in myself, in my chair, in my office, at work and wound up…

One time when I was on a first date I got food poisoning at a Buffalo Wild Wings in Columbia, SC while I was in college there. After about 45 minutes of pointless small talk, I felt a wave of sickness come over me. I excused myself and then proceeded to the bathroom while clenching like I have never done before. I…

This story isn’t so much about the worst place to get sick as it is the best place to get sick.