Back cover:

It's so sad we're in the grey. We're funny. 😞

I just let out what can only be described as a hag cackle.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I was a writer for an alt weekly in South Florida, at the same time Manson was still doing local gigs. We photographed his band for our magazine. He showed up, was very nice and polite, and had a retro metal lunchbox in his hand. He asked, "Do you want to see what's in my…

My chunks are so big it feels like a third urge...stronger than #1 or #2. I tell friends (only the ones who also suffer and understand) I need to go give birth to a clot. Or drop a clot...that rolls of the tongue nicely.

All these years of him trying to shock and awe us. And all it would have taken was a smile.

Grossness and TMI ahead:

Do you even have a comfort zone to step outside of?

Also

If you cut a strawberry in half, what does it look like? A HEART. Bam. Valentines tie-in complete tyvm

One of the great things about the Mirena is MAGICALLY NO MORE PERIODS!!!! That said, I did love "My BODY is squeezing chunks of my BODY out of my BODY."

Jokes about menstrual cycles are not funny. Period.

The part about her period being useless because she's a lesbian echoes my thoughts exactly. Like, it's so fucking pointless for me to have a period, it's not even funny. I almost feel like it shouldn't even pertain to me.

Ah. That's as good as when you suddenly really get bad cramps and then feel the slow ooze and you know...YOU KNOW what's happening...but you're in a meeting or something and you can't do anything about it.

Regarding periods, this is fantastic, and everyone should watch it:

I just sneezed and got a fun panty favor

as someone who was just the victim of a surprise period attack ...

We'll get there. Blame Jessica Coen for encouraging me to "branch out" and "step outside your comfort zone."

Right? I think Cameron Esposito is very polarizing, but I love her.