How about some ketchup sandwiches?

So, all the best brunch places are Southern?

No.

The absolute GALL of this millionaire to tell people to eat cereal for dinner. I hope he gets thrombosed hemorrhoids.

Yeah, fuck him. He wants to drive up sales numbers? He can finagle things so that a small box of cereal is under six goddamned dollars.

The comic is one of the most earnest works of, well, anything I’ve ever read. Poo-pooing the revamp on looks for being, what, contemporary? makes me feel a mixture of old and acutely aware of being old—let them be. It makes sense, even if the filmmakers could also have gone with the impulse to look the same,…

I think of lot of it has to do with the identity of the lead actor, how he died, and that he died.

Slow down, there. This ain’t Lady Lessons at the Philadelphia Cotillion.

“and, hopefully, bring her back from the dead.”

It’s kind of hard to see the mullet but I’ll take your word for it. What a bad idea. Can there be any ‘party in the back’ with this character?

Also, it’s the most emo superhero movie to ever emo. There’s a casual sincerity to the writing that’s kind of disorienting and really thrilled me as a kid.

I think the reason the original movie works and no sequel ever has is that Brandon Lee’s Crow was actually pretty multi-faceted. He had a dark sense of humor that was barely masking his rage, underlaid by a world weariness that gave you the strong sense that he just wanted this whole thing done with.

Every other…

Brandon, not Jason.

Uh, Brandon Lee. Jason Lee is different guy and very much alive.

I’m sorry, but with everyone talking about the tattoos, for me it’s the hair. I just can’t stand the mullet. I just think this is all set in a small town in Louisiana. The Backwoods Crow. 

That Cure song and Nine Inch Nails’ cover of Joy Division are all-timers. But when a movie has Michael Wincott, David Patrick Kelly, and Tony Todd, the soundtrack can’t be the absolute best thing.

In this version he dies after getting ripped on bath salts and chasing an iguana into a canal, where he gets chewed up by a boat propeller.

I’m already disappointed the movie isn’t actually titled “The Crow: Sobbing Nipple of Justice.”

Oh yeah. That’s Florida Joker.