I read every one, and god, it made me feel a lot better about never taking any risks or making any romantic gestures when I was "that age". I was sure it could go horribly wrong, and look, it did for loads of people!

#notallgirls

No kidding. Our stories are more like "I blew this dude in the park and everybody walked away satisfied."

Can you time travel to my sophomore year of HS and let me know this? Thx

When I was a young stupid 25 year old I met this girl. She seemed amazing. Climbed rocks. Hiked mountains. Traveled the world. Within a week she asked me to be her travel buddy to Italy. Hell yes I said. I've always wanted to go. So we start to plan it. We talk about the dates. I get it off from work. We talk about…

Idiotically, I thought this really hot brunette would be impressed by a dick pic. Even worse, for unfathomable reasons, I sent her a a pic looking tiny and flaccid. She not only never replied but she went on to show it to, like, everyone. I was a laughing stock.

"Yup... God was responsible for those ill-timed interceptions. What he said."

Heterosexuality sounds simply exhausting.

8th grade, I got a really really hot girl to go to a movie with me. We held hands, joked, had fun. A few weeks later (Valentine's Day) I got her a very innocent, somewhat humorous card and slipped it in her locker. I had my last class of the day with her, and instead of being polite, she yelled at me and said she…

Scott's friends get in a gnarly car wreck because of a favor they were doing for him, and his top priority is still setting up this date at the park. Ouch.

The saddest Sons of Anarchy fan club ever.

Scott Hall makes doing "suck it" look like he's on the verge of a heart attack

Ah man, still too soon.

nah, the most punk rock thing ever was that girl in L7 taking out her tampon and throwing it in the crowd at Reading.

Fans of sport where competitors push each other to the brink of death upset when competitor is pushed to brink of death.

I've been holding on to this gif for a long time, not sure where I could put it. Now I know. I'll just leave this right here.

My wife will occasionally watch this Girls show. Sometimes I can't take it, so I sneak into our basement and unplug the router, which results in no TV signal.

That's how I treat every Bill Simmons podcast.

I'll throw in an early prediction - since nobody I know likes The Grand Budapest Hotel, that will win Best Picture. Over the last decade, that seems like the most likely predictor in the category.

Of *course* this is a Drew Magary article - the title gives it away.