You're wrong — the worst part of this book it has Tux on the cover, but has a main plot the revolves around her computer getting a VIRUS (which, ok, might technically be possible, but in no way would the rest of the plot make sense in that case).

You forgot Pumpkin Spice.

They didn't have to destroy anything, it was all paranoia. I hope they refund every cent.

During his initial campaign for governor, Walker made it clear that he wanted to outlaw abortion even as a life-saving measure. That's right. He thinks that women who are violently hemorrhaging because their pregnancy has gone hideously wrong should be forced by law to die. Because he is a piece of shit.

i hope some bee-jones baby marries an arnette-poehler baby and make the funniest person of all time.

no - not a pub. a gay bar. and the logo is going to be raunchy.

Should have stashed her drugs inside a Fleshlight because no one is going to reach into one of those to check out what is inside.

*Masshole joke here*

Does he put a pasty over his sphincter or does the butt just get 0 coverage?

Did you get all of that out of your system?

65% is a B grade?!? What magical heaven is this school?

Perfection.

I'm disappointed they didn't ban ranch dressing.

This reminds me quite a bit of a Gawker post from earlier this year:

'lash out' is one step removed from 'hysterical'.

I'm normally a "fuck the police" kinda gal and I think the criminal "justice" system is a useless, punitive waste of human life.

When I was married, our puppy somehow got up on the bathroom vanity and ate my contact lens case, which contained my contact lenses. My husband thought it would be a good idea if I just waited until Holly pooped and then see if the contacts were there, so that I could still use them.

I totally had the same thought. When talking to a friend about this, she brought up an interesting point about whether the girl even knew she was pregnant. So what if a woman doesn't know they're even pregnant (because that actually happens believe it or not) and they have a miscarriage in a public place? What happens…

You can expense the ears.