Trump said the Cincinnati Zoo “probably had no choice” in the killing of a gorilla in May.

Then why is the turducken so popular?

We can’t celebrate and be happy? What is this, Russia?

my feelings can be best expressed through this scene from The Golden Girls

Sounds like what happens after I have too many chimichangas.

Bjork should have known better than to program her Popular Electronics special opposite the game.

I feel a Donald Trump tweet coming on:

But is he an elite resurrectionist?

My five year old girl cheats at Candyland all the time and she gets away with it because she’s a five year old girl.

Scooby-Doo Rost in Ra Rumbest Ray.

Stuff going out of the butt - PENALTY!

“With the addition of my new heated swimming pool, Russian athletes can now compete in the Olympics.”

I thought she was married to her brother.

НЕ ГОМО!

In San Francisco we’re already preparing a welcome party for Ryan Braun.

He would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for the... Witness.

A tattoo of his penis on his penis.

I look forward to the VH1 special that will air 10 years from now:

He gives a voice to the under-represented and seldom-heard “Loud mouth old guy who liked things better in the old days”.