The line that always annoys me, and was repeated several times last night, is about the size of the branches of military being smaller than in 19xx.

I guess I’m still not big enough, from his perspective. :S I agree, I think it’s weird and wrong too. That’s my immediate gut reaction. But reading articles like this, for example, makes me wonder if I’m being guided too much by what I think a relationship should be. Like, I’ve been conditioned to think that my…

Hmm. I struggle with this. I’m completely against body shaming, but I’m becoming increasingly less attracted to my increasingly chubby boyfriend. When I met him over a year ago, he was in the process of losing a bunch of weight, super active, an avid cyclist, and cared about the nutritional value of the food he ate.…

But they were already in that awkward position, or at least one of them was, when he choose to marry a woman whose body he wasn’t into. She was in that awkward position too, she wasn’t just fully aware of it. Clearly she wasn’t happy before if she felt the need to voice this question; clearly she wasn’t happy with how…

Because he might be writing into an advice column/a Reddit thread complaining that he isn’t that attracted to his wife anymore, and being told that you are at fault if he eventually cheats/divorces you. Perhaps you don’t like to see the hit coming, but I’d like to know if my partner never found me physically…

It only puts partners in a bad, awkward position if it turns out they actually aren’t that physically into each other. The original writer didn’t insist her husband find *every* piece of her attractive, just, ya know, the overall look of her body. Thinking that someone you are monogamously having sex with actually…

Thank you everyone for your replies... It does help to know that I’m not crazy in maybe thinking this was off-base!

Not exactly the same topic but similar in terms of ego-bruising: I’ve had more than 1 partner tell me that I physically appear very sexy, but that I don’t ACT sexy. For example, I once put on lingerie for my ex, and promptly waited on the bed in our room for him to come in. Once he saw what my intentions were, he was…

I went through something very similar, only I had no idea that my boyfriend had any hangups about my body until (in a restaurant, while HE was eating and not me because I wasn’t hungry) he blurted out, “I know I don’t have a perfect body, but don’t you think you should exercise more?” Well, my body issues have always…

Well, she’s allowed to think he’s hot, but damn did she build him up and tear herself down. It’s bewildering because they look like a perfectly matched couple to me. In any case, no, I don’t think their level of as yet unspecified but definitely dysfunction would work for me.

I read the original piece and immediately googled for pics. I don’t think there’s a gap in attractiveness between the two at all, I’d say they’re pretty evenly matched. And she’s aging better than him. It makes me wonder if the “do you find my body sexy?” query did not include her face as part of her body.

Without knowing how long you have been together, this sounds as though it MIGHT be a little controlling and I would not want that behavior (of telling you he’ll “work on” your body with you) to continue. My anecdote is that I dated a guy who thought I needed to lose weight. I had gained a normal amount of weight…

I asked my long term partner if it was me after months of his unwillingness to talk about his ED. He said it was. Like, instantly. Like he was relieved to say it. I dug deeper, which was a mistake. It was my stomach, specifically.

To me the bigger problem is that he wants you to change. Like, if you’re not his physical type maybe that’s not his fault. But it’s certainly not your fault either. And I don’t think a good guy would tell a woman that and then ask her to change. It’s cruel and unhealthy, especially in a world where eating…

Now that I’ve been through it, I have to agree with you. This post is actually incredibly timely for me. My partner and I are very, very different people; one of our biggest differences is that he tends to be more focused on people’s physicality whereas I care more about what’s inside. Objectively speaking, I am…

Is he open to directions, and talking about sex? Are you comfortable telling him what you like and you need?

If the sex wasn’t good, it sounds like the guy needs some coaching. You’ve got to tell him what you like and what you don’t like. Talking about this might feel awkward as hell, but it’s important. Sex is like any learned skill. You improve with practice and coaching.

Eh. I’ve never dated anyone who flat out said ‘I think you’re hot’ or ‘I like your body’. In fact, I’ve had two men get up and actually leave when they saw me naked for the first time, so I don’t have the greatest track record here. Not everyone will find a partner who finds them physically attractive, and even my…

In my marriage, I am invariably the one who initiates sex. It’s for other reasons than my husband not finding me attractive (which we’re working on), and all the same, it’s completely demoralizing. When I read this piece on Salon, my heart hurt.

I wasn't really attracted to my ex based on her looks. It was her personality. I knew immediately upon meeting her that I wanted to be with her. She was not conventionally attractive but I still think she's the most beautiful person I've ever met. And all that was based on her personality, the most pure and genuine…