At least once every couple of months I fall into the serial killer Wikipedia hole. Each bit of information brings something new to look up! If ever I'm wrongfully accused of any sort of heinous crime, I could probably be convicted on my search history alone.

Lemmings....

Too late. Started about ten minutes ago.

Cue manbros talking about how a woman are brainless anyways.....

That dog is rebellious as shit!

I would be remiss if I did not point out how amazing this guy is for being such a good wingman for his fish. You don't want to date him? Fine. He's got 23 fish to introduce to you. They are tropical as fuck and ready to mingle. No hard feelings.

One Tropical-as-Fuck Fish

The original draft of this — before I was persuaded by someone wiser than I not to make this personal — contained similar sentiments.

I'm just going to guess that there is very, very little risk Steven will impregnate a woman at "some college party" any time soon.

It would be great if there was a way to pull a Trading Places (at least the Winthrop part) on people like this, so they can get a dose of reality. Or if his parents saw this and cut him off completely so he could back up his words.

YEAH SINGLE PEOPLE FOR THE WIN!!*

Besides being irresponsible and bad role models and endangering their kids, what kind of pathetic underdeveloped 37-year-old wants to party with a bunch of 14-year-olds? Like, what would you even talk about? I'm 27 and here's the extent of my conversation with 14-year-olds:

Dear god, that girl is so lucky, there are so many ways this could've gone horribly wrong.

Japan has some fascinating places overrun with animals. My favorite is Nara, a town overrun by deer.

WE HAVE BROUGHT THIS UPON OURSELVES.

So we have now entered the territory of anything that's folded is a taco. I knew we shouldn't have bought those Doritos Locos tacos That was the start of a slippery slope.

This may be the Goopiest post to have ever Gooped. We've reached peak Goop. The world can not get any Goopier.

I wholeheartedly stand by my sentiments. Fucking fuck that.