I mean, to me, any man that's willing to have sex with a woman that's clearly not invested in or enjoying it is committing SOME kind of violence if he finishes without asking if she's okay or without stopping because she clearly isn't.

It is incredibly damaging. Girls don't grow up with the sense that they need to demand respect from their partners; as long as they're loved, everything will work out! As evidenced by this piece and so many of the stories in the comments, it's all too possible to have love without respect. Which, imo, is a FAR more…

Absolutely. We need to stop teaching children and teens that everything will just "work out" and be great as long as you love each other (nevermind as long as you're married).

Well, I think your ire is misdirected towards me. I never defended Rosario's actions. I'm simply contending that the original poster's argument about the genders being reversed is unfair. A man walking up and grabbing a woman's crotch has a completely different context, and a different set of connotations.

Not really my point; honestly, I don't think what Rosario did was okay, but I think it's reductive and frankly, illogical to just use the "what if the shoe was on the other foot" kind of analogy. Because it's not the same.

Whether or not Paul Rudd felt violated is not my call to make, but a woman groping a man is different than the other way around. When you live in a patriarchal society, where men feel that they can cat call, grope, stalk, and assault, there's a HUGE power differential. The majority of male victims of sexual abuse and…

"pretending everything's fine when it's not will just fuck things up more."

@longboarderlc: This is really interesting. The last two times I got drunk were really different- the first time I had to have 4 mixed drinks and a glass of wine to feel it, then a week later (on my period) I had a few beers and I was GONE. Never thought about that before..

@i'm going to have my friends call me valerie: GOOD LUCK! I'm in the same boat :)

@spamanda: Thank you! I definitely need to figure out a way to assure him he is the primary, and hopefully in a way that we're both totally comfortable with.

@littlebuddha: Everything else is on pause :) we're devoting all our time to each other until we sort this out. I guess I'm just bummed that we've already hit a boundary issue that neither of us feels comfortable budging on.

@Goodbye.Kitty: Thank you :) We talked about it a couple days ago but since he's gotten home we've just been trying to have lots of good sex/not talk about other people. Just work on "us" I guess. I want to make him realize he's the most important person in my life! But judging from the last talk we had, I don't think…

@VirtuousVixen: I don't disagree, but from my point of view that isn't compromise. There is no compromise. Either I can have people over, or I can't. The two times I've been with this other guy it was at his dorm. If necessary, that's what we'll continue to do (however inconvenient/uncomfortable dorms are). But this…

@the misanthropologist: They are, and I'm starting to worry that I'm better suited for this than my partner. I don't know if I could go back to being exclusive and still be completely happy and satisfied. And that's really scary.

@Monotreme Extraordinaire: I agree, and funnily enough my partner was having better luck initially meeting people and flirting, and I felt insecure and like I'd never meet anyone. But, I never let that get in the way of the relationship staying open, and I ended up meeting a great guy that I trust with my sexual…

Open relationships are even more difficult than I anticipated.

I don't know why, but the idea of Tom Cruise being a really good kisser is super disturbing.

@MagsCO: Teddy graham people!!

@Grim Reaper of the Forest: I take offense! Bender may love his booze and the lady(bots), but he is definitely not a rapist.

@Mireille is German for the Bart, the.: She was 12 when this commercial was made. I said some pretty dumb shit when I was 12. And I'd say dumb shit like blingitude now if I was paid thousands of dollars for it!