“I’d make them regret their own birth.”

*Only* a 2/3 depreciation curve over three years? Somebody’s a real optimist!

Modern Christians would ABSOLUTELY crucify Jesus again if they got the chance.

Q is for “Questionable executive decisions”

Good. Fuck Walmart. 

I’m with you on BMW’s terrible design choices of recent years.

My vote is for Rover rebranding themselves as Sterling in the US after being away from the US market for over a decade. Talk about putting lipstick on a pig.

GM just lazily transitioning Saturn from a unique platform with it’s own engines to just rebaged Opel/Vauxhall’s. Saturn used to be pretty independent and set itself apart from the rest of the GM lineup. In the 2000's they just decided Saturn should be a vessel to bring over European GM products instead.

The disappearance of the ducks from the Cadillac logo. We used to be a proper country.

Audi’s move into the boring luxury market in the 90s.

1. Rebranding Mustang to basically be anything, including a blob of an EV CUV

Ford rebranding the Taurus the Five Hundred. My Taurus wagon was one of the best cars I’ve owned. Why would you dump a best selling brand name for such a sucky one?

I would say the painful death and rebrand of the Mitsubishi Eclipse from an awesome 2dr icon to a crossover blob. RIP

Implementing the RAM sub-brand.  Most folks still call ‘em Dodge Ram trucks.

Dropping names for the number scheme was so terrible for Cadillac. Virtually every non-car person knows the Escalade and many can name an older model like the El Dorado. I’d be surprised if half of the current Cadillac lease holders could name their exact model without looking at the back first. Just because it has…

Truthfully the tuna can is actually a marvel of engineering compared to the Cybertruck. How many tuna cans are out there right now, just quietly performing the task for which they were designed under all sorts of adverse conditions without failure?

“which might lead one to wonder if they’ve ever purchased a new vehicle before. Or a used one. Or dealt with money at all.”

Liking the new design language.  

“or a spectacular 6-speed manual, the latter of which over 50 percent of CT5-V Blackwing buyers opt for.”

Agreed. It’s definitely a X-37B clone, which itself did also perhaps coincidentally look like the Space Shuttle