I will never forget the Yanis.

Yeah. IBM is great. It’s International, which is good. It’s Business, which is important in business, I hear. And then they hit you with the home run word: MACHINES! Machines are great, everybody loves machines except Sarah Connor.

Shit. This was going to be the name of my All-Praying-Mantis reboot of ‘A Streetcar Named Desire’

It’s a lot better looking than the new Escape.

Maybe it’s just because I’ve been in Texas so long, but I feel bad that I don’t speak better Spanish.

Maybe there was a group sex situation going on, and she mistakenly thought Mr. Ugbesia was there for that and flipped out.

Though you can bet that if the roles were reversed and a Black person pulled a gun on them for the same behavior, they wouldn’t think it appropriate at all.

When I was 16, I had a 1986 Trans Am. It was such a piece of shit, it didn’t last until I was 17.

I should just go down to my local dealer here in Dallas or McKinney and look at a Giulia...

Henry Ford’s company and Nazis? Who would ever think those two would go together?

I used to roll-start my then-girlfriend’s Ford Escort back in high school just for fun. It worked pretty well in second gear.

When I had my ‘16 Jetta, I had the dealership guy put the plates on because I figured he did it all the time and would be better equipped to do so. He managed to fuck it up and put the plate just off-center enough to be noticeably annoying.

My Dad had an ‘88 Corvette and despite the state requirement for a front plate, just never bothered with it. Don’t know why (every other car he had, he put the front plate on).

My first “car” was a 1985 Ford Ranger 4X4.

You never know, it could end up being a poorly disguised Renault with cheap leather and a 35K price tag.

At least somebody bought them.

She liked it, but I think she underestimated how many minor annoyances would pop up going from the Sorento she was used to hauling herself and two kids around in to the Optima. And she just got it into her head that since my lease was ending, she could not bother to get used to the minor annoyances and just get…

My wife ultimately bought an Optima and then she decided she wanted something else, so she traded in my car and gave me the Optima.

That’ll buff right out.

But how’s the smell?