These ladies should contact me.

Chimera is not a dick. That was retaliation from a slash perpetrated by Ghost on him earlier in the period.

Make sure it’s Henrik and not his twin brother Joel.

And ... Rose is in an awkward position, he appears to be in some pain. Didn’t see what caused it, but man, you hate to see this happen. Such a talented young man, to have struggled through so much ... he’s not getting up, VW-Guy-R32, this is bad. Play has stopped completely now, your wife is looking on concerned -…

I guess she ruled out Derek Rose because he’s probably get hurt and have to sit the rest of it out.

Mine: Christina Hendricks, Eva Mendes, Sydney LeRoux.
Hers: Mike Rowe, Adam Levine, Alton Brown.

I told my wife that if she ever has a chance to sleep with Henrik Lundqvist, she’d better do it. Just tell me and I won’t come home until it’s over, at which point I can hang out with him and ask him about being handsome and cool.

My wife and i have joked about a list, but like you say, it’s all about the fact that the list is full of unattainables. Even if we could meet them, i don’t think that either Jessica Biel or Scarlett Johannson is looking for the brand of hobbit hotness that i bring to the table, and my wife is confident that Johnny…

Me and my boyfriend openly talk about an celebrity third list but why a freebie list? Share and share alike, I say.

You need a how you were not screwed stories. I drove about 500 miles to look at and possibly by a used Cayenne S in my 911 with a friend, I like Porsches. On the way about 75 miles out all my warning lights come on and voltage shows no charging. I’m trying to get into the city and there is a Porsche dealer on my route…

La-AAAAAAAAY-DEEEEEEE!

Dude fucked a goalpost—what'd you expect?

Antonio Brown: <excited by dancing>

This will probably force him out, right?

What’s most surprising is how human Gary Bettman seems in these e-mails. How he seems actually stuck between constituencies and not only being a callous asshole who doesn’t give a shit (though he’s partly a callous asshole who doesn’t give a shit, as we all hockey fans are when we purchase tickets or watch games…

The craziest thing about these emails is that grown adults still don’t know how to turn off the “Sent from my iPad” auto-signature

Whenever you think of lowering your standards, think of the cautionary tale that was Susan on Seinfeld. Is that really how you want to go out? Licking poisoned envelopes because your unworthy fiance is a cheap bastard who doesn’t care about your happiness?

I went to one of the co-founders instagram accounts earlier today and his latest picture is him shaking hands with the Pope and all the comments are “i hate you for ruining my instagram feed”. It’s kind of amazing.

“My mind’s tellin’ me no, but my body, my body’s tellin’ me yes!”