Nicolas Cage says he’s retiring from acting in, like, three or four years to become a director. [Page Six]

The only redeeming part of this entire story is its proximity to Sprinkles.

I dunno. Some of those kinja deals are pretty good.

I mostly want to know the many ways people mispronounce “Jalopnik.”

It’s funny that the writer and readers of this column are having a problem finding the right headphones for working out when Kinja Deals alerts us all to a deal on Anker wireless sports headphones three to five times a week.

Even the official — presumably neutral — MLB Twitter feed thinks a player trolling Philly fans is worthy of high praise.

Barry Levinson just texted Micheal McKean and asked him to keep his calendar free.

Long Live Gawker!

There’s only one Queen:

In the Molly Ringwald penned article that this blog is based on, Ringwald says the Duckie is based on her real life best friend (who is still her best friend) and that her friend is a gay man and also that Duckie was gay. If she’s correct, then Duckie wasn’t really stalking her character.

I hope LeBron James ditches Cleveland again and forever. I hope whoever they draft with the first pick in the NFL draft is a complete and total bust. I hope the Indians finish in last place.

As a kid, I worked in a movie theater. Selling tickets one day, selling popcorn the next.

I agree with you, but do have a question for you and anyone else.

That sucks.

Why don’t you just show up at 9?

Molly Hatchet? She’s great. And the Doobie Brothers? Their mom must be so proud.

Women get abused and humiliated by violent men and never tell anyone because they feel that no one will believe them. Conroy lied about being abused and humiliated by a violent man because he knew everyone would believe him.

Hey, there’s a crack in that Belle.

My comment does nothing to help the victims of the Mavericks toxic culture. I did want to note that Cynt Marshall is an extraordinary person and — assuming she’s been given real power and authority within the organization — I believe she will ensure that the Mavericks clean up their act and become a safe place for…

My mother agrees with you.