Finally! A hypercar with affordable replacement parts.

I loved my BX TZD Turbo Estate (‘Break’ en France). I got it new in 1990 and ran it for 8 years and 238,000 miles before I wrote it off by rear-ending an old lady at a set of lights (extenuating circumstances apply....obviously).

Awww. Somebody needs a hug.

He’s got blinker fluid!!!

Joule thief!

I’m a terrible person, because I just keep laughing at how he realizes it’s probably not a good idea about 4 seconds into the video, and then tries like hell to NOT get into the dark, scary hole.  Then gets whapped by a suitcase and AWAAAAYYYY he goes. 

You thought river, I thought pornstars with the same first name.

I can’t stand it! I know you planned it! 

“Wow, amazing. NONE of the Citroen trucks lasted more than 3,000 miles and they all failed catastrophically! Congrats on the sabotage.”

My only hope for this hearing was that having to spend hours with these Republican congressmen would cause him to snap and go off-script out of spite.

I’m assuming there will be 40 tweets before I finish my second cup of covfefe.

Mr. Torchinsky, I am tired of your anti-Yellow Sweater Alliance bias. You know good and well that it was founded by Sir Edward Harold Tuffington, Earl of Shirehamptonshire on Kennet in the year of our Lord 1852 to combat the growing badminton menace that threatened to overtake the nation’s cricket pitches. To add…

That SUV has now seen more crawling than the average Wrangler. *zips up flame suit*

OH oh! Maybe Audi can sue next?

One of my favorite things to do when people use dog whistles like that is to play dumb as fuck. A friend of a friend’s sister commented that she didn’t like how “dark” her neighborhood has gotten and I was pretending I thought she was talking about street lamps. This went on for ages and she kept getting increasingly…

(As an ethnically ambiguous person, my favorite reply to this question is, “Why do you ask?” and then just let t h e  s  i  l  e  n  c  e   d   r   a   w    o    u   t     .     .     .) 

I mean, it’s not rocket scien-

I’d totally watch a show where you solved auto-related mysteries. Call it Encyclopedia Brown Manual Wagon.

SWEET GRANDMOTHER-TYPE PASSERBY (sing-song voice): “Is this your car?”
KID: (about to take a sip, but lowers bottle): “Who’s asking?”
PASSERBY: “Oh. I just meant—”
KID: “—I know what you meant. How about you keep it moving and drop the ‘Murder, She Wrote’ interrogation,  Angela Nagsbury.”
PASSERBY: “Well aren’t you an…

It appears the kid with the milk, looked suddenly at something to his right.