I wrote a paper about this very phenomenon in a composition class in 1992.

I had a friend like this. We had this emergency, and my other friends and I are calmly assessing and getting things fixed and figuring out what to do. He’s screaming, “Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!”

“Oh my god he’s online! Can he SEE me?”

A very thick rope.

I have never felt pain quite like the pain of giant veiny-blue engorged breasts.

Two nights ago I dreamt that Michael Fassbender came to work at my school and was even in my staff room, and whenever I told people I taught with him no one knew who he was and I was devastated. Not super weird, but I was still disturbed when I woke up that people weren’t impressed that I worked with God damn Michael…

I always dread the transition to solid foods because it’s so much easier to nurse than to feed a 7 month old!

I have to go with Lawrence because I like her and because she out-meaned the original Mean Girl. Wit is not Lohan’s strong suit when Tina Fey isn’t writing her lines.

This ran through my mind as well. I hated when my dad would watch the 5, 6 & 11 pm news. Of course, this was before I understood the importance of being aware and how that awareness formed my character. Thanks, to all parents like ours.

Okay, this has got to stop.

I’m pretty miffed about Rona fucking Ambrose and her lame attack. All they did was allocate some of their housekeeping funds to nannies instead of whatever Harper was doing with that share (polishing his Lego head?). It’s a non-story borne of desperation. And the NDP attacks and says he’s not spending enough? Buddy…