“Paul feels robbed? Cry me a fuckin’ river. You know why he’s Rich, right?”
-Peter

Yeah, no. You poison one, you have to figure out where it goes before it dies and starts to rot. Shoot one (or a few) and they either drop where they’re hit (more or less) or leave a nice blood trail to follow, making recovery a lot easier. And you probably wouldn’t want to convert a poisoned hog into delicious pork…

Its a PIG of course its edible. Doesn’t taste the same as grain fed hogs, but totally edible. And frankly we REALLY need to go on an extermination mission and kill these things. They can be very aggressive, and they destroy crops and land. See it shoot it BBQ it, repeat

Yes, sort of.

“Hey dad, the Bengals are winning, let’s flip over to watch the rest of the game”

coming from Michigan, the home of Dr. Kevorkian, I’m pretty sure his “Death Machine” was just having dying patients watch Lions game. 

Holy shit. This may be the darkest, most depressing entry in the history of this series:

Appealing? No.

Oh, I dunno, I think Cristiano Ronaldo’s head looks pretty strong.

Certainly better than the last story about a Cleveland quarterback drinking followed by a beating.

The Ray Lewis bust would have been more successful, but he was able to ditch the white suit in the nick of time.

“This is the pitcher-playing-the outfield video that gets results!”

Phillies fans haven’t seen a non-outfielder patrol LF like that since the days of [checks notes]...Raul Ibañez.

“[P]rofessional left fielders who can’t be relied upon to make accurate throws to the plate... ”

This is my favorite thing about baseball. Just all the weird shit that happens literally multiple times every season. There’s always some obscure stat that hasn’t happened since 30 years ago that comes to light in the strangest way. 

I don’t know why I felt so compelled to do this after reading your comment. 

They’ve always had women and gay writers. In their heyday, the “Playboy Interview” was the gold standard of journalistic interviews. They’ve always taken liberal political stances (including on women’s rights and lgbt rights). The publisher was a woman for over 20 years (Christie Hefner).

Obligatory:

so, she puts the car in drive and runs. he pursues, and stops her. orders her from the car. she refuses, vocally indicates he can go fuck himself and continues to refuse. he places his weapon (i thought it was a taser, you say a gun, weapon either way...) back in its holster and opens the door to remove the woman. she…

My immediate thought with the top 4 on the list was subprime customers who are in over their head and need to make the car disappear...