I tried a similar move over one of those big concrete Kit Kat bar-shaped things in front of my parking spot. It didn’t go well. I had to have both legs amputated just below the knee. Then I murdered my girlfriend through a bathroom door in South Africa.

There’s something deeply soothing about letting a wave of highly technical sports gibberish just wash over you...

*Laughs in Bevis & Butthead*

I actually kind of love that I have no idea what anything means and that the clips look like the world’s most random stock footage. This must be how most people feel watching the NFL.

Can’t be any worse than driving on a south Louisiana highway.

It’s truly not that complicated! Like, I’m not an expert by any means, and I only watch once every 4 years or so, but yo, just watch a YouTube video explainer and you’ll get it. I could probably copy and paste this for a dozen more comments in this article, but here it is!

I have played Cricket. It was apparently very amusing for my Indian coworkers who convinced us to try. I was not the best player in the world.

It's like you wrote an article about baseball, replaced all the normal nouns with silly-sounding nouns, and multiplied all the numbers by 100

WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!?!?!?!

My favorite go-to quote about this is the one Michael Caine gave in response to his involvement in Jaws 4. ““I have never seen it, but by all accounts it is terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built, and it is terrific.”

“Riding on pavement is just unbearable,” Vlad says as he violently bounces in the Lada, which keeps popping out of gear.

One of these days I’m going to figure out what in the blue fuck is going on out there.

This driver is not happy with those manhole cover wheels.

If this pun wasn’t intended then McLevy just landed a 25lb bass without even putting a rod in the water 

He wasn’t talking about Asians, your grandpa was talking about the plague of porcelain or china homunculi that wonder this country between 1927 and 1962. For a long time the problem seemed unsolvable and destiny to just keep getting worse.

Ice T would agree with your statement

Why is it a bummer? What if he is happy? And who gives a shit what critics say about movies, music, whatever? If people are entertained, super. I can’t stand current music, but my kids like it, it makes them happy to listen, so who am I to judge?

(San Andreas 2, again with Peyton helming) which suggests he’s loyal to a fault

Your cow-orker is kind of dumb.

It’s a classic TBS movie that anyone with basic cable could catch. Like The Dirty Dozen or Escape From Alcatraz. You’re two years younger than me and I saw it in college in the 21st century. Great lazy afternoon hangover movie.