I’m trying to picture the kind of person who’d sit idly by, reading Deadspin for god knows how long, and then see a mild slight against Joe Flacco and think, “that’s the last straw. These clowns at this site must pay,” and create an account just to comment on it.

He’s not actually saying that JPP is a Stones fan…

Peyton Manning’s debut: 21/37, 302, 1 TD, 3 INT

Whatever happened to the headsets here, whether it was a technical issue or intentional fuckery—in fact, whatever even slightly suspicious thing happens in or around the Patriots from now until the end of time—they will NEVER AGAIN have the benefit of the doubt.

Are we ignoring that “The grand wizard” is the term for the leader of the KKK? This is the perfect trifecta of racism.

It’s an inevitable result of the disconnect between the game at the pro and college levels, and a reminder of the fact that the purpose of college is to win, not to prepare players for the NFL.

My first thought was “how does a linebacker get hit that hard on such a shallow play?”

They’ve shaved 125 milliseconds off the lifetime of your torque converter.

“Can you spell ‘spaghetti’?”

Came here to say this exact thing.

The fact that this all came from Adam Schefter gives me confidence that it’s true. I can’t think of the last time he was wrong.

I’m sure the Cardinals would be delighted to play the Raiders twice a year instead of their current schedule.

I look at it as compared to the age of the car. I’m looking for a new DD right now, and I saw a 2011 something with like 140K on it. 140K isn’t a deal breaker in and of itself, but I have to wonder what someone’s doing to put 2,000 miles a month on a car. Are they changing the oil every six weeks? Timing belt every…

It depends a little bit on the punter. The common knowledge is that the punter is going to have trouble keeping it out of the end zone, so it’s a touchback and the net yardage is shitty.

Never forget this one either.

I genuinely can barely follow the ball. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen an outfielder throw that hard.

If Denver can maintain good grass all winter long, San Fran should be able to.

Given how bizarrely resourceful stoners can be when it comes to fashioning something to smoke out of, I feel like still-making skills would come back pretty fast.

He reminds me of Champ Bailey a few years ago. He’s older, slower, shorter, and weaker than the guys he’s up against, but he makes them look bad all the time and you can’t quite tell why.