Don't recognize it. Source?

Completely unrelated to the behavior itself, that one in the video thumbnail is a big effin' rock. That would hurt a lot.

Best abs I've had in my life were when I was having sex 4-6 days a week. Sex > dieting for SO MANY REASONS.

I'm a Broncos fan and I listen to country. The only thing I googled was Decker's major.

16 pages for 12 moves is too much detail. Summarize. THERE'S SEX TO HAVE.

Cosmo's Law: In any compendium of suggestions for ways to make sex more interesting, no fewer than one (1) of them shall involve your finger in his butt without asking.

This must be when all the good kickers got drafted.

Also relevant:

You're a very angry person.

Or you could text with real words like a fucking adult.

She's a country singer.

Not an old, just not a football fan. Eric Decker is a receiver for the Denver Broncos, and a good one, but not so good that someone who's not pretty closely following football would know about him. And Jesse James is his country singer wife, but again, not famous enough that most people would know her. I actually…

This of course ignores the one capital sin of Super Bowl Sunday: don't distract me. I honestly don't care if any women who might be in the room are sexy, or making food, or giving handjobs, or whatever. All I ask is that you understand that you—and everyone else in the room—are less important than the game. I'm…

I'm not sure I'd lump the "monkey" comments in with the rest. Jumping around, gangly and howling, is kind of a monkey thing to do. I know there's a lot of history with calling black people monkeys, but if we refer to players as "beast" for plowing through defenses or "surgeon" for picking them apart, we should be…

Cue comments from people who aren't interested in football and think it's VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU KNOW THAT.

"I love gays, but if they keep being gay they're going to hell" is no more a logical inconsistency than "I love you, but if you keep driving that fast you're going to get a ticket." You have to understand that the mindset these people are coming from is:

You make the bed, you sleep in it. You turned this into a huge fucking deal to the point of being willing to offer the kind of money that a huge portion of this country only dreams about (I bring home about $17K a year. Do you know what I could do with ten grand?) and what came from it? Nothing. You got a few…

We will not rest until we see a fat, non-white, trans, gay woman from a poor background with some sort of mental disorder AND physical disability modeling for every clothing company in America.

And why, in the name of all that is good and pure, did you feel the need to insert the word "quantum" in that title?

HEY. He was outside the door.