When I was pregnant I constantly wanted nachos drowned in that Ricos cheese from a can until they were floppy and horrible. Kid turned out ok anyway.

Totally understand. I feel like we were over-spanked when I was a kid, so the decision to include it in the parental tool kit was after much discussion and arriving at carefully thought out rules. i.e. only after warnings and never, NEVER in anger.

Diagon Alley? I’ve got enough Victorian and weird crap, I could almost justify it...

I dunno, this is some supervillain level interior decorating....

And then expects us to supply catering and decorating services for free!

Church ladies get things done.

A good political parody would be recreating the loudspeaker car bits from the mayoral campaigns with a similar sound. But I think that is a bit too subtle.

I seem to recall that the “crying indian” was actually an Italian guy. Or maybe I dreamed that.

This was years back. She plays the cello now...which is perfect for anyone who has a flair for the dramatic.

Because it’s where the fish come from.

For cisgender, straight men: May you grow rockin’ D-cups!

A punishment reserved only for repeated dangerous behavior like climbing on the trash cans at the curb or up the stove. I hated giving them, but the rareness meant that the swat on the backside actually discouraged those activities.

It’s so hard to not let them see how cute they are (while at the same time driving you nuts.). :D

Of course, you could go the etsy route anyway with a chair labeled “Baby’s Corner”. :D

We didn’t bother with a chair in my family. You STOOD in the corner. Chairs were for kids who behaved.

That is just the biggest pile of patriarchal horseshit I’ve ever heard. I’m not “giving” my little girl away any more than I’d expect my little boy to stay tied to my apron strings. I want them to grow up to be independent individuals who remember to call their parents and maybe visit for movie night.

Sometimes people make mistakes in their youth that they won’t make again. Sometimes people are wrongly accused and can’t afford a good enough lawyer to get them out of a conviction.

My parents suck at paperwork and I was a home-birth. I didn’t get a proper birth certificate and SSN until I was 10 years old. My parents are both at least 5th generation American citizens, but because I have a “delayed certificate of birth” I have to jump through all kinds of extra bureaucratic hoops.