As a Pats fan who knows his team has engaged in shady stuff...part of me loves that teams are always so paranoid about them. If you’re entering the game thinking the Pats already know what you’re doing, you’ve already lost.

Or maybe Simmons told the editors to keep it quiet so they couldn’t be fired until they jumped ship, since they are at-will workers. No, no, that can’t be it. CLEARLY IT WAS A SIMMONS CONSPIRACY! NO ONE DENIES THIS!

“Why don’t you put the word ‘did’ in front of it?” he said. “And then a question mark at the end of it.”

Is it worse than calling something “new hip Gretchen Wieneresque” in your mind?

What percentage of equal religious freedom rights should they have? 75%? 50%? 25%? 0%?(because satan)

So... if I read you correctly.... you’re saying that Dan Le Batard masturbates to Olivia Munn while eating shrimp?

Will the Patriots lose a 3rd or 4th round pick because of this?

Rob Ford’s Darryl Strawberry impression was much more spot-on.

Bernie is basically america’s favorite hoody. A little worn out, totally worn in, too old to care about appearances, and an intrinsic statement on income inequality.

One point I’ll make is the disparity in possessions between football and the sports you mention. Each team gets something like 12 possessions a game in football. In basketball, the best teams get over 100. In soccer, you’re well into the 3 digits as well. The punishment would be way more severe in football.

Do not throw a beer can

Police say there is no clear motive for the attack.

Goodell: Two games!

Houston.

Egging on the guy to shoot the other guy in the head.

So the shooter was egged on, fell from a wall, and was injured in the fall. I think we’re looking for Humpty Dumpty.

Yeah this would never happen somewhere peaceful, like the Bay Area.

Belichick: [rips huge bong hit] You know I bet the government secretly records everyone.