Where do you live that it's illegal? I know it's really hard to get them in Tennessee and South Dakota (and now Texas) and myriad other states, but I didn't know it was illegal fully anywhere. Just "so difficult to get it's practically" illegal.

psst.... Are you me?

Hahaha omg. I'm making strange jerky motions at my desk because I'm stifling a too loud laugh thanks to you!

I literally dream of being unable to remove long sleeved, turtlenecked, neoprene shirts. In my dreams, I am begging someone to remove it for me over my head or cut it off. I admit I am crazy.

I've totally done that. I have a "thing" about too-tight clothing and constricting shirts. I was zipping up my jacket and my very awesome blouse got caught in the zipper. I completely panicked, grabbed the scissors and started hacking away. Afterwards, my co-workers kindly turned away when our eyes met.

At least you owned the shirt. There's a very particular brand of panic when you get stuck in the item of clothing you're trying on in the dressing room of the store.

Ohhh, I'm a bartender and I'm to blame,

That's about the part I stopped the video. I'll probably hear the whole thing soon enough on the radio at work. That station took to her like a duck to water. Blandpop lite: EZ listening for people who aren't really listening anyway. It'll be sandwiched between Maroon 5 and Michael Buble. Ugh, kill me now.

I don't know if this counts, but I was waiting tables at a noodle joint, in college. Not Olive Garden, but a Spaghetti Factory/Works/Extruder place. We were slammed, and I was alone on our upper floor, reserved for when we were slammed, because it was across the restaurant and up a flight of stairs from the kitchen. I…

Just AWFUL.

is meghan trainor actually a dude in a lady-suit, silence of the lambs style? we can't discount the possibility.

NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO

Dear Future Husband,

I think she calls him Poopah-Scoopah

I don't care what people say to me. My Meatball is a pretty princess.

I am getting this puppy next month! Going to visit her tomorrow.

I have to second period tracker lite. it's awesome. and of course shazam, to identify songs on the radio. BUT the one that amuses me is meme design. for when you want to memify one of your own photos.

My favorites are White Noise Ambience (if you live where it is noisy, travel, try to sleep on airplanes), Spotify, Instagram (duh), Snapseed for photo editing, ChatterPic Kids for making stupid videos for kids, and my number one favorite, because I make conference calls all damn day, MobileDay - it dials all the…

teehee Invest in clippers. Trust me. It's easier to cut the mud out that way ;)