I asked my husband for one for Christmas when I moved into an apartment my sophomore year of college. He got me the basic kitchenaid from kmart. 22 years and 5 kids later- that bad boy is still mixing like a charm. Best and most durable appliance ever.

Mine took a hard turn toward Crapville on Tuesday when Boss warned us to sign up for unemployment "just in case..." And to add insult to injury, I have a vat of ice cream in the freezer and am out of dairy pills. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...

I did! Here's to a better one.

I'm currently into 2.5 months of unemployment after being laid off from a job I had for 9 years. I'm going stir crazy, being unemployed is tedious.

A shit week? Fuck, I've had two.

Me too! I'm planning on a whole shit month. I'm getting evaluated next week and its stressful and the worst time of year for it to happen. I'm not worried about it, but its sooo much hoop jumping and other bullshit I don't have time for right now. I'm 51 and hoping for menopause but just got my period again after…

At this point I would consider a shit week a definite upgrade.

Me. My hair is falling out in massive amounts and has thinned noticeably (my hairdresser confirms), I went to the doctor and he was a complete condescending dick, smirked that "sometimes hair falls out" and told me I "have a full head of hair" and didn't take me seriously at all. It's true that I'm not visibly balding…

ME! Didn't get a grant I really wanted and had a girl spill her entire giant cup of coffee on me at the beginning of the day so I had to sit through it until 5pm and then walk for an hour in the freezing cold with no scarf on to get my favorite scarf (white, of course) to the dry cleaners in the hopes that they can…

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Me. It's me, I also had a bad week. A WHOLE FUCKIN' BAD MONTH ACTUALLY. Personally and professionally.

Me! In a funk and can't seem to get out.

Me! I hate my new job :( I'd rather be hit in the head repeatedly with a basketball than go back to work tomorrow.

This is the first time I have acknowledged, outside of my own head, that I have been the victim of acquaintance rape:

I don't know a ton about trademark (not my area of the law) but what I do know is this: if you want to keep a trademark, you have to make an effort to protect it. If you trademark something you can't, say, keep all the big guys from using it but let the little guys do what they will. The law just doesn't work that…

During the halftime show, Katy Perry's backup dancers donned polka dot bikinis that looked curiously similar to a bathing suit worn by Taylor Swift the summer she tried to become a Kennedy.

re: polkadot shade
who the fuck notices this kind of stupid shit?

Exactly. People with thick thighs think they'll like wide legged pants, but when the time comes I know for a fact the proportion will just make me look stumpy and squat because I'm not 5'11 or super thin, and the size id have to buy to get them to glide over my thighs vs clinging to my butt then flaring would result…

NO I refuse to get on this trend. I'm sorry I can't. I didn't like it then, I do not like it now. I will not like them here, I will not like them there, I will not like them anywhere.

I worked the front desk at a hotel resort back many years ago. Mid 1980s so you probably could not do what I did to the most obnoxious customer I ever had. We were a resort with golf course, cabins, lodge rooms, pools and dining room. This family was never satisfied with anything. Always wanting a comp on…

I wish there was another day for submissions because I have a DOOZY from yesterday.