I am your King! A watery tart gave me a sword!

Whaddya gonna do, force-feed me a pineapple pizza?!?

OMG YES!!! I had pineapple on a burger a couple of weeks ago and it was AMAZING.

Hah, fair enough. But you're still wrong!

Have you ever tried pineapple and onion pizza? It sounds terrible, but then people try it, and... most of them like it.

Definitely would love to see people stop saying "[blank] is my spirit animal." Are you American Indian? Does your culture have a tradition of assigning animal spirits to people? No? THEN STFU.

This is why we should have been more cautious about letting ladies become legislators.

Oh man, I need to start putting my friends through this kind of rigorous screening process, complete with membership dues and special colors. If you are late on your dues, you may be subjected to paddling. Also, they will not be allowed to give away the special shirts I force them to wear, or that is for sure a…

Unless we're going to see articles critiquing blackface parties or other morally reprehensible/ethically scandalous topics

Jesus Christ. People like you are why people hear "sorority" and think "crazy cult that people way too old for college are still obsessed with in a creepy way".

subpar does not mean what you think it means.

They actually do get into a lot of trouble when these posts go viral, and can result in them being put into probation, all the way to being removed from their campus.

Those who don't learn from history are doomed to look like morons in comment sections.

I would like some curls please.

Miscarriage is a layperson's term, and medical professionals don't use it. They use the medical term abortion. All abortions are designated either spontaneous or therapeutic. I wish the term spontaneous abortion would filter into the layperson lexicon, partly because it's the correct term, but also because I just…

I've seen dude-bro targeted beer commercials with higher concepts.

I'm also allergic to the color red because it conveys hostility!

I'm allergic to the letter P, I can't have it!!

I believe you mean "I resectfully demand you remove all instances of it from this ost"