I always assumed it was proximity to the ocean, i.e. you didn’t have to transport it that far. You get popped with a dozen kilos driving across Indiana, you are never, ever going to see the light of day again.

You haven’t died until you’ve been to the 19th Hole in Glenside.

Yep. I’m going to the distro tomorrow night and buying multiple cases. Work already knows I’m not coming in Monday.

“...Trump’s well-known habit of taking gimmes, no matter how long the putt.” 

I find that boring. But it doesn’t much matter. End of the day, who gives a shit?

No, but he effectively assured himself of getting to the Finals for the indefinite future by signing with GSW. I never said he was Dellavawhatsisname playing three minutes a night.

I feel like he naively thought that everyone would say, “Oh, it’s totally great that you left an exciting, improving team to go join the NBA Death Star! Yay, Kevin! I hope you win all the rings!” And he’s pissed that that didn’t happen. (I’ll cop to it: I was one of the ones who thought it was a weak move. But it was…

Yeah, but you’re still on the Jets.

Yeah, that was kind of a dick thing for me to say. I’m sorry. It’s just whenever I think ‘that dude’s got a huge loft in Tribeca and oodles of money and damn it all’ I remember that and think, ‘okay, moose, cut him some slack.’

I am so there for this. In the dead of winter, I need Mad Nicolas Cage.

And then you meet him - I went to a reading before the scam came out - and you find out that he’s this obvious doctor’s son rich kid who basically wrote out his fantasies and then hoodwinked people by claiming (with, to be fair, an assist from his publisher) that it was all real.

Right? Why is this a debate?

Twenty bucks says that’s the most action the East Hampton Village Police Department has seen in months.

This is why we can’t have fuckin’ nice things. Everything is an asshole.

There’s this new thing I just heard of - what’s it called - Google? Apparently it can learn you things. El. Oh. El.

Jawbreaker seeks jaw breaker.

Full agreement, speaking as someone who has woken up in the past and thought the exact same thing.

This feels like pretty big news.

They should see if they can swing a trade for him.

I personally kinda hope Darren Sharper never rests easily again for the rest of his life.