I would. I would stuff a small pillow into my spanx for the first 5 minutes of a red carpet, have a bunch of assistants surround me, pull it out, and continue on like nothing happened.

Man, the only thing that would surprise me to hear about Rhianna's private life is that she's actually celibate and straight-edge.

Next up: Scientists will study the effect cocaine has on window-cleaning (I knew someone that would do a couple of rails before she did the windows...and I must admit, her windows were spotless....)

I was unfortunate enough to get to see "The Miracle of Life" when I was 15 (science class + the 90s = actual science shit being taught). It features an episiotomy. I had to stop myself from screaming when I saw that scene, and thus began my 15+ years of saying "FUCK NO" to child birth.

What I love about the portrayal (and the original character from the books too) of Claire here is that she's not your typical female protagonist. I'm getting SO TIRED of the whole "I'm an immature girl with low self-esteem who is like, sooooo shy you guys, but I know it's because I'm like, soooo different from…

Kelly, seriously, I love and respect my country and admire you trying to defend us Scots from the stereotype, but we do, as a general rule, tend to get irresponsibly drunk at any given opportunity.

OK - I love Claire, I really, really do. I have been waiting close to 20 years for her bad-assery to lead the narrative on tv but...FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY I AM POWERLESS AGAINST THE GRAVITATIONAL PULL OF THIS MIDDLE-DISTANCE STARE!

"I claim these buttocks for Queen Isabella of Spain. Bless all those who sail in them."

Fixed.

So if I drink 600 ml up to five times a week, I'll live three times as long, right? I'm fairly certain that's how science works.

Heh. I'm 36 years old and I just smoked weed in my bathroom for the first time. Here's to late blooming! Also I kind of want to both laugh at and high-five myself.

My curiosity was insatiable.

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished…

Probably the only black man recently to say "Oh no, I have to leave St. Louis."

God damned immigrants forcing their culture on born and bred Americans.

Oh hey look at their mascot: http://www.seminoleisd.net/

As a devoted Miss Manners reader, I'm pretty sure the Official Miss Manners stance on forms of address is: to the very best of your knowledge, call people what they want to be called. If they have always been Mrs. Burly Husband, that's how it should look on the envelope sent to them. If they are Mr. Bro Husband and…

I love etiquette and I think it can be very useful in encouraging respectful, considerate behavior - but some traditions just need to die, and this is one of them. Address people the way they want to be addressed! That is etiquette.

"...fills one with an instant sense of well-being and peace."

They didn't look hurt so I don't feel bad laughing at them. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. 10/10, would laugh again.

Ahem, I think, if you check the byline, you'll find that it was a different writer who said that.