I want to just scream obscenities at you. Jesus fucking christ, for five minutes this morning, i got to imagine what it would be like if i got to live in a reality where my two biggest fears aren’t“she’s going to say no” and “what if she says yes???” because i’m well over 450 lbs and haven’t had positive sexual…

How Do You Do, Fellow People.

its like watching an infant discover how their arms work

Really?! I think Ellen would be a great president.

Ok. So then what happened?

I legit read every line as if it were new. Nailed it.

I swear, have people always been this shitty or (as I believe) is it getting worse?

JESUS TAP DANCING CHRIST ON A CRACKER.

I assume that there's plastic surgery involved.

For some reason there is a random apple just sitting there.

Sorry, I can’t star you for this because of the sachet/sashay error....

Isn’t the guy who needs a kidney suffering enough without threatening him with a pair of hideous shoes?

Highly agree. “Virginia shooting Victim’s Father now Scared for his own Saftey”

It’s hard to get everything in a headline, but I feel like the title is a little misleading and paints him in a bad light until you read the article. Especially since he’s from VA.

Tacos are the most ineffective method of wrapping a bread-like material around other food stuff ever devised.

This is an argument against Chipotle, not against the above Chipotle ordering method. It is also very nonsensical.

Finally, someone with the courage to stand up to Big Shitty Vegetable.

Because its uncomfortable and looks fucking stupid.

Weird comment. Are you lost?

It’s stated because it’s true. It was his truck in the way, so one would assume he knew it was there. However, you’re going too fast for the environment if you can’t correct for things that occur. If lifting causes oversteer, then it was too fast for the environment. Lifting mid corner means too much speed.