Nice! Now I have an excuse for why I suck so badly shooting clays with my 1187

why do other Americans insist on big-ass trucks when they could just get one of these?

Well yeah, but would cops or bystanders know that?

Yeah, I guess they’re WAY more dangerous than a missile, deactivated or not

Wouldn’t somebody at least care in the sense of the danger presented by a car wreck?

Just watching that dude talk with the sound muted is giving me a headache

That's it, you said it better than I did

Huh, I was sure it was “jalopy” and “nudnik”. The more you know!

These things are so subjective, but I feel like Mazdas still look happy, but now more “hell yeah!” than “golly gee whiz!”

Anyway, Brussels sprouts are awesome

Reading Pinkham is like having a good friend with radically different political/religious views. It's like, I enjoy your company but fundamentally cannot understand you. Hating tomatoes, peppers, AND Sriracha? Good God, man!

Like a doll’s eyes

Arlington, actually. Between Dallas and Fort Worth.

Was “Flight of the Valkyries” playing during this thing?

Vacuum power. Don’t accelerate or the wipers will stop working!

Jalopnik headline, February 2016: “Watch this Terrifying Video of a Camero Driver Trying to Change Lanes”

If you can find them, chicken feet make amazing stock. So much collagen, and it looks like a horror movie in a pot (if you're into that)

My OCD would like everyone to know that he should have said “out of phase”

Cool! I'll have to check that book out