...if you’re going to come to Atlanta, sometimes that’s how it is around here, you’re going to have to get used to it.

My face is already quite punchable.

I would actually love this.

“I see you’re trying to advance in the playoffs, but you’ve left DeAndre Jordan in the game. Would you like me to fix that for you?”

The Los Angeles Clippys!

So now that you have to make contact, does over-the-shirt still count as second base? Asking for a friend.

You’re not — turn down the persecution complex, dweeb.

If Miller’s teams keep losing to unranked opponents, the only thing that’s going to hit a fan is shit.

Because he's a younger version of Ted Cruz?

A friend of mine who is a Packers fan said “I’m intimately familiar with the body language of a QB who is completely disgusted by the rest of the offense failing him so completely.”

Most Likely To Fail Upward

So you can comment, but you can’t read well enough to understand that the Funbag isn’t going anywhere?

It’s the Clean Green. Or maybe the Green Sweep.

The closest I was with was probably [Tom] Brady [and] whom I love to death

Wouldn’t the teams you beat have been worse?

Kobe’s post-retirement statue is going to look pretty epic when they put it right under Shaq’s ass.

Equipment Manager: You want me to cut your jersey so you can breathe a little better in there?

Now just imagine a read-option offense with Tolbert and Jared Lorenzen...

“Wait, you can be praised for this?” - Eddie Lacy

Trey & Bryce are not to be confused with the Trey & Bryce that are members of the USC tennis team who caused such a brouhaha at last year’s Catalina Wine Mixer.