“rage stroke out” is how I usually masturbate after a bad day in the office 

🎶 Just another dick and a wall 🎶

Unfortunately, the American Taliban is still going strong.

He needs the ego gratification of the large crowds.

“Use the very best vanilla you can buy.”

Maybe this is just their way of admitting that a lot of caution flags were really just to bunch up the field, and not actually for “debris”. They’ve basically built “debris cautions” into the rules.

THAT WAS A REAL TWEET????

Seriously. I am all for gourmet food, but that ain’t a grilled cheese. A grilled cheese is cheese, bread, butter or mayo if you are Martha. That is it.

We never deserved Michelle.

My friend one pooped a single poop that ended up making a big healthy circle in the bowl. She took a picture. I am ashamed of how bad I wanted to see it once I heard of it (though, being a goddamn lady, I protested and pretended I didn’t want to see). Luckily she is as weird as I am, and insisted that I look. And her…

Hahaha these comments are giving me the first belly laughs I’ve had all week.

Potato chips are good dipped in ketchup too. Kind of like a super crispy French fry. I tried melting cheese on them once like nachos but that didn’t work out so well. The chips got too soggy. (Tips from a fellow stress eater.)

Yes, and I hate this so much. I used to be so good at pooping, too. Now it’s like “Am I done? I’m not done. Am I going to have to dig it out?” Awful.

Over the weekend, before the complete disaster of Tuesday, I was staying in a hotel. I dropped a massive log, as thick around as my wrist, running in one piece from the front of the bowl all the way to the back. It wouldn’t move a centimeter when I flushed. I was sort of proud of it until I had to reach in between…

I made an account just to say this thread is the first thing that has actually make made me laugh out loud, like, a full belly laugh, since Tuesday. Also I just learned just how mature I am.

(I realize no one will see this. But thanks anyway.)

I poop as often as I can, but then again, I’m an hourly employee

This is very timely.

Well, he wanted to schwinn really badly. He cannon be dalenied.

He got all huffy.

And now we know what Jesus would do.