I played soccer, and I know my parents hated the heading, especially off a long punt. I wouldn’t be surprised if youth soccer goes to a no heading policy, like football has no contact practice.

I would, too. That’s a totally understandable feeling to have.

I mean, I knew the human race was getting stupider.... I just hadn’t banked on it getting this stupid this fast. I misunderestimated teh peeplez.

Ugh, no, I don’t think it actually works like that. In reality, people’s takeaway is “Now I need to get so thin that I can be as horrible as this person is & get away with it.”

“...you’re not prone to having sex with a man who breathes like he’s inhaling a box of Popeyes biscuits during sex...”

If you’re a female rapper trying to make it in the music business, and you’re not prone to having sex with a man who breathes like he’s inhaling a box of Popeyes biscuits during sex, you may want to stay away from Rick Ross.

Yeah, that was going to be an “any minute now” kind of thing

You know that feeling when you just had sex and the orgasm was mind-blowing, and you don’t have the air conditioner on, but you open the window and a cool October wind blows in, and there is a glass of grape Kool-Aid beside the bed and the ice has melted just a little bit, and you drink it and you realize there’s…

Thanks for your feedback!

Good thing the NRA will pour money into Baltimore to defeat this bill that limits handguns. /

I’m really disappointed that it turned out to BE a thing! I expected it to die in 2005. Alas, no.

Slow news day, huh?

I would rather be alone, then with some idiot.

“Reefer makes darkies think they’re as good as white men.”

the post is 95% bitter underpaid journalists shitting on their better-paid, more successful peers.

Wait, no hangover? I did not... know that. But I wouldn’t even know what to do...See this is why it kinda sucks to be a minimal bougie in a state that hasn’t legalized medicinal herb yet...

I love black people and I love weed.

With legalization needs to come pardons for dealing, buying, and possessing.

Am I the only one who did a double take thinking this was George Clooney?

He’s like the other dads except you can fuck him publicly instead of needing to have a surreptitious affair conducted in mall parking lots and the back of the Piggly Wiggly.