If you don’t pay cash, EVERYTHING you pay gets clipped by whoever changes that credit into cash. It’s not just a tipping issue. If you pay using a credit card, the restaurant itself gets less ( unless they charge you extra, which almost no one does). That’s how it works: if you use credit, the payment…

I don’t think so.  It’s not far from Love Field.

I used to commute through a neighborhood in Dallas that used to be prime real estate but is now a bit past its prime. By the entry sidewalk of one hose, a pair of uncomfortably huge lions on pedestals appeared one spring. At about four feet tall, they overwhelmed the house completely and seemed very out of place. By…

I became aware of language issues like this when I was driving a in a strange city with a friend whose range of vision was about the length of a pool table. Without thinking, I said “Help me watch for the exit.” His instant reply was “Sure, but if I can read the sign, we’re both gonna die.” It was the first time I…

That’s a shame. I used to have a big dog. Hosing out the car after a camping trip could have come in handy.

“Nobody will hold him accountable for the deaths.”

Well, Abbot is at least asking for medical assistance now, even though he still won’t admit he is wrong. The man is still a jackass.

My dog would kill for that.

Didn’t Honda have one you could remove the seats and hose out the entire car?

My car does the same, but still sends the tire pressure to Toyota through the touch-panel computer. You can’t read the tire pressure in the car, but you can look it up on your phone. You can’t read it in Toyota’s CarPlay app either - that’s just a link which turns off Car Play. That’s some high-quality stupid, right…

And while all of this is happening, the governor of Texas still won’t lift his dumb-ass ban on masks mandates because, well, he’s a fucking idiot.

Nothing the Cowboys have done in the past thirty years has been worth watching.

“So you agree that scientists are just guessing.”

In other words, he wishes our permission to continue to bullshit the world with a false public persona.

He believes he’s one of them. He isn’t.

For almost everyone I knew, Ramen Noodles, the $0.19/meal classic. Fortunately, I never quite had to resort to that. For me it was grilled cheese and peanut butter sandwiches.

It would have been cruel to raise a child in a universe that mythologizes Han Solo with the name Wan Solo. Names that just sound silly: Obi Solo, Llando Solo, Chewie Solo. His parents never met Yoda. I kinda like Artoo Solo, but Han would never do that. Maybe Owen Solo? Most people wouldn’t have gotten it. Bail Solo?…

“In conclusion, thank you for remembering that I’m still alive, and get off my lawn.”

A very respectable list, except for Grease 2. That was a misguided waste.

Exorcist III wasn’t nearly as stylish as the original, and — as much as I love Brad Douriff — it would have been so much creepier to bring back Jason Miller (Father Karras) for the role instead of the hallucinatory cameos they gave him. It actually helps to read Blatty’s sequel, Legion, before seeing the film. Blatty…