A friend from my first job out of school had a baby in the 3 years I was there. Posted the daughter's graduation photos on FB; off to college in the fall.

Brie, granny smith apple, roasted chicken sandwiches

I liked living in Cleveland, for what it's worth. Good luck.

I'm happy that my small potatoes FTS is a dead computer. I don't think it's the hard drive, so I'll just rebuild it with a new processor or motherboard, whatever ends up being the culprit.

Ha, a katana, what a loser! I have a kukri and a vintage Lebel bayonet. Much more interesting.

HVAC is borked. It's 63 in here. I'd get and extra bowl of pho to pour over my head.

I picked up Anatham at the library the other day and my hand snapped of clean at the wrist.

L'chaim!

Peter Spiderman, of Levine, Cole, Spiderman, and Associates. [shoots web over client's mouth] My client has nothing to say at this time; you may make an interview request through my office. Good day.

The fact that i continue to be surprised by that sort of thing continues to surprise me.

Took the side of my daughter's crib off to convert it to toddler bed because she hated being trapped in there and has been screaming and trying to climb out all this week. The first night we started to leave and then she makes a beeline for the door before we can get out of the room and close the door and I'm trying…

I Spy an unrepentant rapist!

He's been here two hours and already got nine red light camera tickets.

DC isn't laid out in a grid! Cthulhu's lost on Connecticut Ave and can't seem to make a left turn anywhere.

That's some satire with real teeth to it.

The sloop John B was ticketed by the Coast Guard for not having life preservers or flares on board.

Just don't do anything while filming and prefacing it with, "watch this!" and you should be safe.

They dragged their feet for 8 months until the end of the fiscal year, then took it out of an overpayment made to the same company.

Yeah, I once wrote a 3 page document in order to justify an unauthorized expenditure someone had made and got back an email from the chief administrator that it was the best rectification memo he'd ever read.

It's that kind of evocative writing that really punches up my maintenance contracts here at work.