More stars!

What if your underwear already looks like that?

Baloney. This is a ploy by BIG GNOME (Underpants and Garden Divisions working on concert, obviously) to obtain our skivvies.

What you’re describing sounds more like a psychological condition than a bathing routine.

I’m getting rather tired of things that aren’t an actual disease being called a disease.

“Social isolation and loneliness have been associated with major negative health effects in study after study”

Is that voluntary social isolation? Because there are plenty of people that lead happy and healthy lives by their own choice to live like that.