Well, it certainly wasn’t a good airplane flight...

I walked down the graduation aisle with this absolutely beautiful boy I had known since junior high named Jimmy. During graduation practice, he told me that some girls at school found out he was an exotic dancer and ever since had been grabbing his ass and groping at his dick whenever they passed him in the crowded…

I am 32. I consider myself a strong ass woman. Not a victim. NEVER a victim. But what is shocking, and humbling about this entire election is the fact that other women are speaking out about things that I have just accepted in my life as part of being a woman, and that I’ve forgotten about until now. I truly forgot…

Don’t say Jesus when talking about this subject. Remember he said marriage is between a man and.. when he said that you have to identify with your gend.. damn it he never said any of that shit.. ugh religion makes people dumb.

I think “Genetic mutant who will certainly have a short life filled with suffering” would be good. Damn, I hate it when people breed dogs for looks rather than health and function.

If you sincerely believe you’re a turtle, it costs me nothing to refer to you as such, and might really help you out.

We need to rapidly come to the conclusion that abuse cases are common on both sides. My story is similar to this one, only I was younger and groomed through my childhood by my uncle’s boyfriend - 17 being when he started to pressure me into doing pornography. What purpose does it serve to segregate gender in these…

Oh god, I don’t even bother to keep track of the crude shouting type of street harassment, and I’m ugly as sin. There’s a little frisson of relief if they don’t try to follow me, that’s it.

I foolishly thought I’d be free of that shit once I hit my 40s, but NOPE.

Just a few weeks ago, I was having a drink with a girlfriend when this drunk (in an entertaining way, at first) guy started to talk with us. We were all having a really fun conversation, when suddenly he started touching me all the time. He kept coming over to where I was sitting and touching my hair, my feet, my…

All religions, no matter how respectable and established they seem now, were once cults. Most of the rules that would get them branded as cults are still “on the books” just not enforced in the same way a cult would because they have too many members to try to control.

Just give him his stapler back already!

He also appears in Bud ads, which is probably not something a recovering alcoholic should be doing.

Well, we wish you luck. And while Fox News won’t cover your funeral, we will make sure it covers your cat’s funeral. Cuz none of this is his fault!

Go comment on Russian websites, commie.

I have a girl, and put her in as many cardigans as I can get away with. Bonus: with a girl you can dress her as your little twinsie for a while, which I will continue doing as long as I can.

I’m really looking forward to these kids retaking Calais together.

He’s got way too much confidence for a man with a toddler body.

From “Yes We Can” to “No Fat Chicks”.