mass layoffs at gawker and jezebel http://www.theawl.com/2015/11/accoun…

We have yet to hear an adequate answer to why Ross, the largest friend, does not simply eat the other five, earthlings.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus!

is me

@T-Pain

Is it just me, or do you stop taking someone seriously the minute they use the word ‘hubby’ in a professional email?

I get it, Matthew Mills. I too cannot believe that it ever happened. I can’t believe that someone killed twenty first graders and 6 school employees. I get that it’s impossible to accept that all that happened and still not a single thing has changed in our gun laws. I further can’t believe that the gun lobby and…

I started a “get my ass in shape” mission in June, when I was just a lady with a boyfriend. I’ve lost 10 lbs so far - which is great - and only a handful of people notice. Boyfriend popped the question on Halloween, and now everything thinks I’m working out for the wedding. I’m like bitch - I’ve been doing this shit…

Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me?

what do you mean

Houston is a relatively progressive city. I suspect that this failure was a combination of deceitful propaganda from the anti- civil rights groups, and laziness or lack of awareness on the part of progressives, who obviously didn’t get out to vote in decent numbers.

I wonder how many comments will rise about the “HurrDurrTexasredneckcousinfucker” level.

real conversation i’ve had with a tinder date

Yes, I’m sure that is totally it.

Excepting the damage it does to the roof of your mouth. 50 grit sandpaper would do less harm (it wouldn’t be as delicious though).

I am so naive about stupid sex things a lot of the times. I didn’t realize that blink 182 album take off your pants and jacket meant like JACK IT like jacking off until a few years ago

I thought trick or treating was just in the movies for years! Like how they never say bye at the end of phone calls

Woo hoo! That means I still have a chance with Drake!

Sadly...no. No, we’re not.