My favorite part was when I closed the window.

They truly did sound like enormous infants. “I don’t see why that’s funny! Why are you laaaauuuuughing at me? Moooooommmmmm!”

I didn’t watch, did Hillary admit to doing Benghazi or what

True story: I had that happen to me last week and I’m still pissed about it. Carry a traffic cone so you don’t give us false hopes!

My go to curse is: May every step you take feel like you’re walking on Legos.

Little kids who act like shits

If someone mistook me for Adele, I would be ecstatic.

Anybody read “Crazy Rich Asians” and “China Rich Girlfriend” by Kevin Kwan?

I’ll admit, I’m a fat girl. I never had stepped into a Lululemon before or after this interview. I actively requested that my friends not shop there after hearing reading about that interview. But when he says he was “honest” about thighs causing fabric problems, I have to call bullshit. I have a pair of Old Navy yoga…

Margaret Atwood was on point when she said,

I was going to name it, but wasn’t sure if anyone would know what I was talking about... I used to get their chips and queso, to go, as a meal. Especially when I worked at the La Madeiline, around the corner, and got sick of tomato basil soup.

I’m a gifts person too, and I think it is definitely the most difficult love language to talk about outside of people understanding the “love languages” framework because people don’t understand that it’s a strong emotional response and not— a calculated attempt to get free stuff or something?

Unfortunately, you might have to put a little more work into your explination to fight the assumptions (kind of like how some introverts have to deal with social stereotypes about being awkward or quiet). When you tell people your top language is Receiving Gifts, immediatly explain what that actually means (as…

Yup, totally. My wife definitely has gifts high on the list, but she’s far from a materialistic person. She just likes little things, like flowers, or bringing back her favorite candy from the grocery store, or whatever. Little stuff to show that I was thinking of her. And since gifts is at the bottom of my list, it…

Well, since you’re not in it for the actual gift but the gesture behind it, it’s not so much a problem. Like, it’s clear you would appreciate the gift even if it was “worthless”. Try and frame it like that.

I also lead a rich and interesting life. Like, did you know that tv networks use exactly the same commercials for 3am and 3pm shows?

Sleep every night with someone breathing hot breath on their face.

Every single pair of pants they have gets something pokey in it, like a foxtail, somewhere, so they feel it on their legs whenever they sit down/walk/move, but can never find it with their fingers.

The constant sensation that their phone is buzzing,…

When did Barbies get ball joints? Back in my day, we had to position our dolls in an unnatural manner.

All they had to say was “we appreciate you taking the time to address this matter. Our current fall line is closed, but we will address our need to expand the costume choices for girls in the near future. Thanks for being a customer.” The end. Why are people so bad at public relations?

So basically because he exposes them as the ignorant hypocrites they are.