Nonsmoker here. We can smell all of you—even the "light" smokers.

And if they use the patch, nobody is going to ask for a piece of your patch

a cooOoOOoooky youth pastor that was totally down and hip to our jive and cooly fresh yo, and understood our young feels, and, "...word, dog. I get you. I GET you, and Jesus gets you. Isn't that so dope and slammin'? Let's pray."

i feel INFINITELY better when i do green smoothies. i need to start again but they're a little labor intensive in the morning

Did anybody else read unRealplasma?

FRIED RICE. I don't care what style. I don't care if it's full of veggies/meat or plain. Just as long as it's fried and is rice. It's been my go-to as long as I can remember.

Savory: french fries. Sweet: chocolate cake. I'm a woman of simple needs.

Roasting sweet potatoes that will be topped with an ungodly amount of goat cheese and drizzled with olive oil and balsamic in 3...2...1...

I do that with the box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. I believe it's meant to feed 4 people (LOLOLO no).

Can you confirm that the Liz Lemon character was loosely based on secret filming done in my apartment? Because when I was watching that show in the same PJs as Lemon and eating night cheese shit got real weird.

Hmm, none of these are a nighttime mouth breather silencer....

Loosely paraphrasing I believe Louis CK here, but "Never tell someone you're sorry they're getting divorced. Nobody's ever left a happy marriage."

Medical examiner said cause of death was the throat being crushed.

I couldn't believe how horrid they were. I felt like clawing their eyes out. Like what the fuck. I'm sorry that happened to you too. It's such a shit place.

I think you and I read different articles...

Again, and again, and a-FUCKING-gain. Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

Thank you for all of this. I am giving this article major side-eye.

Demonizing fat people doesn't help. He's a bad fucking person, size has nothing to do with it.

THIS IS THE MOST GLORIOUS NEWS. Although I will say I loved that it dropped on the 14th last year. Seriously the most romantic V-day ever. Knew my dude was a keeper when he suggested cooking me dinner and binge watching.

you are using so many terms over my head