Mine too. The devil himself evicting his worst tenants. Whoo boy I spewed coffee on my keyboard.

Yes, but how old are you?

Not as bad as the Kum ‘n Go

*sniffle* As much as I love the horrible customer/employee stories, these are the best! Faith in humanity restored.

Who is Teddy Geiger? (prolly betraying my age or middle-America-ness, but whatever.)

Hey hey we’re the Monkees! Now that tune’s stuck in my head. Micky was MY crush too!

Kevin Smith mixed with Steven Tyler.

I’ve read this in Norm McDonald’s voice. Oook.

I do a spin on the vegetable salad sandwich from April Bloomfield. Tomato, cucumber, thin slivers of onion, pickled banana peppers. Sometimes with spinach or chard. Always with sliced hardboiled egg (or fried if I’m in the mood). Mayo and Annie’s Lemon & Chive salad dressing or some other tangy/pungent dressing.

I wouldn’t want to drink a $1 cocktail.

A hot dog is a type of sausage. Applegate and Bilinski’s both make delicious chicken sausages. Which I may never eat again after reading this.

I read that in Barbra Streisand’s voice.

Buttermilk, yum! Herring and super salty strong black licorice, ugh.

Where does juicing and high colonics fit into this bullshit?

‘your kind’ rates right up there with ‘you people’.

But are the liquor stores open on Sunday?

Wait, what? In Wisconsin you have to be a licensed bartender to sell alcohol? How many licensed bartenders does WI have anyway? Being that you can buy whiskey at Target. Both my girls went to college in WI so I bought a lot of booze there on Sunday on my way back to MN. And New Glarus RULES!

Must be the french fry guy. There can’t possibly be two people like t.....oh wait.

Grey foods are ooky.

When my kids were little I used to pronounce ketchup like...cat soup...on purpose. (not every time, but it was amongst many words I played around with) They grew up with a healthy appreciation for the weirdness in our language and the weirdness in their mother.