They never got their moment? They were handed Oscar statuettes and gave an acceptance speech. Their names and film will forever be branded as Academy Award-winners. La La Land won plenty of other Oscars, including actress, director, score, and song. I think everyone will be fine.

Ah, that makes sense. Thanks! In the future, I imagine they’ll be more diligent about double-checking which envelope gets handed over.

Since when are white people not allowed to make jazz music? I guess I’ll go back in time and tell Benny Goodman and Glenn Miller to knock it off.

There are two sets of cards. I have no idea why.

She needs a belt. She has no waist in that dress.

It’s a good 3 inches too long, though. I will never understand why these celebs can’t get their dresses appropriately hemmed.

Glue-on fake eyelashes are my favorite beauty tool.

Divorce lawyer here. Most people who have messy divorces are/were messy IRL, and it’s what caused their marriage to break down in the first place. I’m sure Robin Thicke’s shitty parenting skills and general shadiness are the exact reason Paula Patton told him to get lost.

This explains a lot. Thank you.

The half-person is a fetus that has more rights than its mother.

I would, too. They’re sooooo much easier, and when you’re on-stage, no one is close enough to examine your hairline.

Finding out that literally every celeb (and beauty blogger) wears extensions gave me so much clarity. I finally understand why I can never do any of those damn hair tutorials that look so easy on Pinterest.

I had no idea either, which I kind of appreciate about RiRi.

LA’s proposal has little to no new building. It’s actually a pretty great proposal. I hope they get it.

She bought the dress off-the-rack and the designer had no idea until she saw it on TV.

Same. I’m a Wills fan for life.

Seriously. This pic is 7 years old, and Kate looks substantially the same. Poor Wills on the other hand...

Our sleeper sofa is velvet! It’s such a gorgeous fabric. I had to talk my husband into the emerald green velvet. He was skeptical of such a bold color at first, but we both absolutely love it.

Seriously. It’s insane. I got married. I wore a white dress and a veil in a Catholic ceremony, and I took my husband’s last name. I also had both of my parents walk me down the aisle, chose only readings that didn’t reference gender, and still rock my maiden name Ruth Bader Ginsburg/Hillary Rodham Clinton style. I…

I agree with you that choice feminism is bullshit, but I think Crispin’s standards of feminism are impossibly high. There’s no way that women can live their lives without ever stepping a toe out of line with feminism. We live in the patriarchal real world, not some utopia without strong social norms. Maybe I can…