You must be exhausted after jerking yourself off so ineffectively. Should have asked your mom, she’s much better at that sort of thing.

Oh come on, name ‘em! It will be fun to see which accounts they use to deny it.

You’ve been here long enough to have lowered your expectations accordingly.

No one with a byline here gives a fuck about anything like that.

And World Star! is all the poorer for your decision ;-)

Are you being serious? That’s one of the dumbest claims I’ve seen here in some time.

If you’re going to quote the Simpsons, at least try to get it right.

I’ve only been to Jersey Mike’s a few times, and none of the locations used a pint of mayo per sub. JJ’s is more mayo than anything else.

Awww, you’re just mad they turned off comments at the Root because of racist trash like you. 

This seems more plausible than Subway suddenly being concerned about quality & freshness.

Hey dickhead, no need to shout. 

Yet Subway manages to turn “adequate” into garbage day in & day out.

Is that word “mayonnaise”? Because they seem to put more mayo on a sandwich than anything else.

Take the stick out of your ass.

You need to pay for real journalism. What’s offered here is not that, and is worth exactly what you paid for it.

There’s no proofreading or editing allowed here at Herb Spanfeller’s Jalopnik.

I can’t tell if you’re being completely disingenuous, or incredibly stupid. Brownell could drive that fucking P car flat out, 24/7/365 for the rest of his life and the total emissions wouldn’t amount to 1% of 1% of those from this ship in a year.

I’d love to see that particular ship sunk with everyone on board. Let’s round up all you dumb fucks & ship your asses to Davy Jones’s locker.

You guys truly suck. The music is even worse than your idiotic marketing approach in a comment section that almost no one sees.