We went to a Japanese/Panamanian fusion restaurant this evening and this was the dessert I was given. It made me confused and angry.

Do you remember that story of the little old lady who bought some bananas and came home and a bunch of deadly Brazilian banana spiders spewed out and she called the British version of the CDC and they literally said “burn it with fire.” I would maybe do that.

I was contacted on Friday by an old college friend (been out of college for 15 years or so) I used to hang out with during and after college, but not recently because I moved away. He likes to send me gchats about every six months to complain about being lonely and not keeping up with everyone we went to school with,…

DYING from happiness. Also this GRAPHIC kitchen nightmare that happened earlier.

I’m resetting my sleep schedule because I keep falling asleep at 5 AM, so I’ve been awake for 36 hours and I’m about to have another double espresso shot so I can survive until 9:30 PM. I can hear colors and I keep wandering into walls. Help.

Hooray SNS!

I’m usually asleep by SNS, midnight is too late for me, but anxiety is keeping me up recently. I have so much to say! But the main thing - I’m avoiding getting twitter as my crappy phone can’t handle many more apps. I have been thinking about it recently because I want to keep in the loop with all you Jezzies.

So I just bought ‘Eat Pray Love’, after two unrelated people at different points of the same day recommend it. (I thought it must be some kind of cosmic message or something *shrug*)

Yay I’m so glad Sunday Night Social is happening, thank you JE!

Where is the victim, here? Who was on the receiving end of that “short action”? Doesn’t matter, apparently. Her loss of appetite, loss of sleep, loss of security are irrelevant. What she could offer the world pales in comparison to what swims Swim Boy might have swam.

Great. Now rapists can claim, with precedence, that if they’re premature ejaculators, they deserve less prison time because it was so short and no one had a satisfactory orgasm.

“and that he will “never be his happy go lucky self [sic]” again.”

Thank you for this. I was chuckling last night wondering if people were freaked out by the absence of Saturday Night Social, but was too lazy to search out angsty comments.

I wondered about that! I mean, I was late for it.... but STILL!

Really fucking sick of Jezebel, of all places, calling this bullshit “sex.”

I can’t decide whether that kid or her parents are my heroes for the day. They’re all doing everything right.

It's worse than that. His guilt is not in doubt. He was presumed innocent and found guilty. We know this man is a convicted rapist and yet he still gets off because he supposedly poses no threat to women.

Little Violet will weep all night if I shut her out and throw her body at the door until I cave in and let her sleep on the bed. She is a tiny cat, but sometimes I wonder if she could break the door down.

I love when celebrities become so delusional that they think they're experts on everything and can do any job excellently. She's reaching Sean Penn levels here.