This what i’ve been having to do lately, spend $300 on my fucking credit card, just in the hopes that one of the 5 items I picked will fit and that I didn’t waste money on shipping. I’ve had to send back all of my last three orders from modcloth, and they take over a month to process the refund. I’m about to stop…

I used to stock the ladies room with an industrial pack of pads and tampons with I was an admin, I still try to keep a stash at my desk, because sometimes shit sneaks up on you.

My boyfriend tried to convince me to let him build us a 200sq ft tiny home to live in. That’s 2 grown adults and 2 large indoor cats, in 200 sq feet. I don’t even want to think about where we were supposed to put the litter box.

I am always worried about this when I meet my dad for dinner when he’s in town. He’s always very vocal with the server about me being his daughter, either because he’s half deaf or because he doesn’t want people to assume....or both.

Well if that’s your dad’s argument, then by his own logic he’s stupid, and did a disservice to you as a child, because easter and christmas were/are originally pagan holidays. I was raised in an religiously ambiguous house (my mother thought that by not trying to influence me one way or another that I would just…

Yes, unfortunately. One refused to get her baby vaccinated, and about a year in, when that measles outbreak at disney happened, she started thinking that maybe she’d been wrong. Still didn’t get the kid his shots, because I guess sticking to your guns is better than not taking a risk with your kid’s life. Other than…

I’m allergic to eggs, and the look on my boyfriend’s face when I straight up eat cookie dough and cake batter is a beautiful shade of horror. A lick of batter isn’t going to kill me, a whole quiche might, but not batter spoon residue. It’s the closest i get to living on the edge. I figure if my immune system thinks…

So my straps are ok, they move around a bit and don’t dig in (narrow shoulders) but my fucking band irritates the living shit out of me, and every time I go get measured they insist that if I go up a size, that the band will be too big. I have gone up as far as I can in the cup, and the measure-ists even fought me on…

Boaty McBoatface is amazing, and right up there with my old cats Fatty McFatterton and Fatty von Fatterstein.

Awesomesauce!

that makes me feel justified, because i was seriously contemplating bodily harm, i almost cried at one point. my nails aren’t as fabulous as they used to be, but they were fine the way they were :(

Do it!!! Go boldly where you haven’t gone before!!!!

You should totally complain about it to your friends, I’m sure there’s at least one or two or five of them that have been dying to discuss theirs with you too. At least two of my friends will totally tell me anything and everything going on with their bodies at any given moment. One of them gets UTI’s from lush bath…

*whispers* does anyone know how to remove acrylic nails at home????

I love your hair!!!!!!!

Oh yikes, yeah an hour in public transit is definite cause for a hotel. It was a six hour round trip drive this weekend, luckily I get good gas millage. Can you split a room with one of the other bridesmaids?

I just got home from my first ever bridesmaiding experience weekend wedding trip. Bride has been a long time friend from college, and other than her being stressed about being on time with the ceremony, she was her normal charming and wonderful self in every way.

Oompa Loompa Hitler, this is my new favorite nickname for him, thank you

lol star for the dean martin comment

Well at least now I have an answer for the next time someone asks who pissed in my corn flakes.