I'm sorry but WAR is the worst stat of all... "Let's not factor in causality at all because we 'know' how many games you would have won if we replace you with Shane Victorino." It's like Tebow's game against the Steelers having one of the higest QBR ratings of all time. Numbers DO lie if all you do is look at…

If only there were some sort of tangentially related image from a television show that applied here!

People look up to you, Hines. You just were on TV with Dancing with the Stars. Ravens fans were upset that you won Dancing with the Stars but they still watched you. That shows your charisma and character. You've got a legacy in the NFL that no one can take away from you. But if you hurt somebody drunk driving, that…

He was released on his own recognizance due to the fact that he's no longer a threat to run.

Isn't every Ray Rice punch considered an uppercut?

You guys accidentally posted a video of the slam dunk contest instead. Please take care with your editing, thanks.

Who are the tall ones with the cans?

That you consider this apeshit crazy foodstuff to be more grownup than a simple grilled-cheese sandwich is indicative of profound detachment from reality.

It's not a grilled cheese and tomatoes and mustard sandwich. It's a grilled cheese sandwich. I'm sure a grilled cheese and tomatoes and mustard sandwich is lovely, but it's also a different sandwich.

Because I am a lazy college student, I eat panini-pressed grilled cheeses for lunch four or five days a week. In fact I'm eating one right now. Sriracha helps mask the taste of sadness.

Can you imagine the frustration of sacrificing four years of your life in pursuit of your dream to be the best in the world, only to have all that sacrifice and progress rendered moot by an uncooperative, Russian winter?

"He wants to go out like Michael Jordan."

♬ Rape meeeeeee....Rape me, my friend ♬
Mornin' gang, Father Mike here with a few announcements...

Oooh! A penny!

It's amazing how childish these 'big-time donors' can be. I guess that's why they get booster seats.

To make matters even worse for Sam Sr., a Denny's waiter then showed up at his table with a plate of food.

To be honest, I'm not sure I've ever heard [a good luge joke]."