Fuck you, Bill O’Reilly, for making me agree with Gretchen Carlson on something.

He lost his wife, job and self respect all in the same week? I wonder if he’s tired of all this winning yet...

No more Melissa McCarthy? :-(

I’ve come to the conclusion that being a Republican is the most amazing life experience possible. It has to be. There is no other explanation for why those people believe where somebody else takes a piss is their biggest life problem.

“Through her passionate service, she made our world more welcoming, inclusive, and fair. Not just for the athletes she empowered, but for us all. She honored the highest traditions of athletic history using sports to break barriers and change hearts and minds. So alongside heroes like Jackie Robinson, Billie Jean…

Not trolling (and therefore not looking for trolling responses), but in a union of three or more (if it becomes a legal marriage one day), how does divorce/dissolution work? Who gets custody of children and who pays child support to whom? Can two of the three expel one party out of the marriage and seek alimony? If…

This is it. We are officially living in a full-blown Idiocracy. I give it 2 years until we start trying to water our crops with Gatorade.

I always see this whenever her face comes up. She could (somehow) win a Nobel Prize in Chemistry, and I would still only see this.

“More than a year after his death in Chanhassen, Minnesota...”

I look forward to whoever he appoints as the new FBI Director getting fired on January 20, 2021 by President Sally Yates.

2016: Hey 2017, it’s been five months. You need to step it up if you’re going to out-weird me.

Jason Chaffetz announcing he’s not seeking re-election next year, Tom Brady snubs White House invitation, Bill O’Reilly leaving Fox, Alex Jones admitting he’s fake in public and now the “Alt-Right” (we used to call them “neo-Nazis” before the new politically-correct term came about) is having a conniption fit as the…

I just had a nightmare/welcome dream that some serious House of Cards shit goes down and we wind up with Barbara Bush (the elder) as President who visits former President Trump in the hospital and greets Melania with a smile and sympathies before walking over to the bed, kneeling down as if to pray over him and…

The conservative media is going to be masturbating to this for the next week.

The monkey could point to his ass, display its own to show where an ass would appear on primates or grab his causing Director Comey to yell, “Stop messing with my ass— oh wait, I found my ass!”

When I first read this, I thought, “Oh God, I hope the FBI investigates and brings this Keebler-looking motherfucker down,” but then I remembered the FBI is run by a man who couldn’t find his own ass with a monkey, a map, and a flashlight... Where’s the whiskey?

Vox predicted and explained much of tonight already last week. Basically, there’s a new voting procedure at the Oscars. They no longer use “first-past-the-post” voting. Instead, they use a ranked vote that reallocates votes at each elimination of the least popular. Basically, the “winner” is just a consensus that most…

It must be awesome being a Republican. I wish my biggest problem in life is where other people piss and shit. I argued with a Republican “friend” about this recently. He said he’d never been in a public bathroom with a transgender person. When I asked, “How would you possibly know? You could’ve used it while every…

I want to bring a sackful of various liquors to Leslie Jones’ house and have the bitchiest kiki ever with her right now.

Hey, that’s not true, it’s not as though Big Oil is running State or an uneducated rich billionaire is running Ed or... well, shit.