Yes, I understand that. And...tough titties, I guess.

Ugh, so jealous! Note to self: convince boyfriend to learn how to do plaster and lathe construction.

You've figured it out!

It's not a big deal and it's probably good for the baby's immune system.

Well, apparently if you do thousands of dollars of damage to someone's house, it's a felony. This is why you don't piss your neighbors off, especially in LA.

Gotta little something here, little food stain or something...

Well, aren't you ahead of the curve.

This borders on abuse. I'm a cat person, but these people are just asking for a claw to the face.

That's EXACTLY why an infant has no place in the restaurant. Babysitter cancels? You cancel your reservation.

The hides of animals used for meat definitely get used- most of it gets rendered down into gelatin.

Diamond-hard nipple or bad seam placement? You decide!

It's just her not-blazingly-white natural teeth.

Is this someone's driveway?

Ugh, even photos of crying children stress me out. I can practically hear the howling through my monitor.

Or it could just be one of those fragrances that doesn't stick around much. Also, I bet she changes clothes several times a day when she's working.

If I had Martha money, I'd spend it a lot like she does.

This was for Halloween- she was Glinda, the Good Witch of the North. It was actually really fabulous.

This eye makeup is too heavy for her face. It's giving the illusion that her features are all smooshed together.

Two different whites. Do not like.

Those were in my pediatrician's office waiting room, which is not associated with good times.