Don't let her have that kind of control over your body! She ain't really the queen. She certainly isn't the queen of your soul.

No hate, just a call for people to take a deep breath.

Whitney?

Yeah, wait for my new album to drop.

I personally want people to chill the fuck out.

I am not over Beyonce, I just was never really riding the All Hail Bey Train to begin with. She's fine. She has a lovely voice and I like her music (I like the video of the baby dancing to "Single Ladies" more, though). But people just need to chill the fuck out. I'll be over here listening to Chaka Khan.

Rdio/Spotify that ish!

People need to slow their roll. This national Beyonce obsession is getting out of control.

hahahaha, gross.

Even WITH his terrible acne? (I hate those ProActiv commercials.)

Your husband certainly is.

EJ Johnson, who is very fabulous, is ALL over Rick Kids of Instagram.

My significant other and I are the best of friends. It's our secret for staying together for ten happy years.

Simone Shepherd is FUNNNNNNY. Her Vines, omfg.

That's totally what happens, though. You gotta catch 'em sometimes, they slide out so fast.

Passing out behind the wheel is a possibility for everybody who drives.

American Medical ID is having a bunch of sales this month. (I have epilepsy and they send me daily emails, lol.)

Morty and Lee might as well be my grandparents, down to the gender roles.

This is LITERALLY my grandmother's life, but my grandfather is actually less helpful than Morty. She is 83, he is almost 84, and he spends 6 days a week at his office (he's a retired dentist who now manages a construction company). My grandmother cleans and cooks all day, and the first thing my grandfather does when…

You can become gluten sensitive, but unless you carry the genes for celiac disease, no, it can't make you gluten intolerant.