I was not offered a muscle relaxant (I am nulliparous- never been pregnant). I was told to take ibuprofen beforehand, but that was it. I drove myself to and from my appointment. Insertion hurts because the doctor clamps your cervix open and your uterus contracts, and cramping afterward is pretty bad, but it was…

I understand the physiology and chemistry of the mouth. And because we do not eat the diet that our early human ancestors did, the role of saliva is much diminished. Therefore, while the purpose of saliva has not changed, it's effectiveness has.

The Mirena IUD uses a very small amount of hormones- much, much less than oral BC pills. And because it's localized in your uterus, and you don't have to ingest and metabolize those hormones, many women do find it easier to tolerate. I have never actually had problems with hormones, with the exception of cervical…

Exactly. A menstrual cup shouldn't be touching your cervix, anyway, and you should always be careful when you remove the cup. Not a big deal.

They are itchy! There are, though, moisture-wicking "performance" underwear, like for athletes and hikers/campers.

They also don't have bad breath because they aren't eating food, just milk. As soon as you introduce solids, you need to brush and wipe inside a baby's mouth.

Lace panties are typically made of nylon and polyester which are both irritating and non-moisture wicking.

Most of the time, it's perfectly fine to use a menstrual cup, and I think you are VASTLY overstating the expulsion risk. And your overall risk of IUD expulsion drops dramatically after your first month with it. Talk to your doctor about it. From the Diva Cup site:

I love it. The insertion was a bit painful, and I cramped for about a day, but my period literally stopped the day after it was inserted. Make sure you have a gynecologist you trust and who will explain the process.

I know about saliva's role, but it just doesn't get the job done, in comparison to the vagina.

It is expensive, but my boyfriend and I are splitting it. I normally don't spend that kind of cash on people, but she just took us on a trip to Nashville to visit my family and paid for everything, when we could have chipped in.

Oh, 2 months (I have Mirena)! My period went away IMMEDIATELY, but I have had a couple days of spotting. And I mostly only know that I'm spotting when I wipe. It's SO little blood.

Ahh, yes, the ol' candy bleach dick trick.

That's obnoxious! It's worth mentioning that a lot of people seem to think that all paper can be recycled, but that is not true. Clean, uncoated paper can generally be recycled, but wet, coated, or food-contaminated paper (like a Starbucks cup or used napkin) cannot.

True. Neither option is really "green", but one of them certainly works better than the other.

No. Your mouth and navel definitely aren't self-cleaning.

Maybe if you're already prone to yeast infections, but I've never had a yeast infection, and I wear pantyliners all the time. I just change them regularly.

That just means your dick is covered in germs.

Solids that get flushed down the toilet end up in a landfill or burned and dumped in a landfill. Toilet paper to poop, anything solid gets dumped.

My mom is an architect. She's getting a Lego Robie House kit.