I hate people with no-shoe houses. What, is your carpet made of silk hand-woven by Chinese orphans?

I really don’t see much room for commentary on women’s success here, though, accidental or otherwise. It’s more about how social media and presenting an idealized image of our lives has become so all-consuming.

The end of that concussion movie should be a bunch of concussed former athletes going out and voting for trump, really highlight the dangers of head injuries

*reads headline*

Yeah, there are really only 2 options in that scenario. You either have to 1) take 2-3 shots at the endzone then kick a 50 yd FG; or 2) run once and hope to make it a 45 yd FG. Vikes chose option 3: attempt 3 sideline out routes. Not a good plan.

Yup. I absolutely blame them for trying. They had the clock stopped with 23 seconds left, on first down, and they followed that up with:

The LOLVikings moment happened on second down, with 25 seconds left, when they could have had AP punch it up the middle (behind a line that had done a surprisingly decent job of run blocking all night) for 4-5, spiked it on third down at 4 seconds, and then kicked a 44-45 yard field goal to tie it (not automatic, but…

And then Drew ran back up stairs to bed before his parents caught him and grounded him for watching football on a work night. When he got to bed, he wrapped himself in his blanket and sobbed himself to sleep.

If he were jerking off, he probably would have turned off the Victoria’s Secret show to avoid the distraction.

He obviously broke it saying the pledge of allegiance or perhaps coldcocking a Syrian refugee because he’s the Marine Todd of football.

Cooking advice from Drew? AOK

Nah, just tell people that you named the kid after Paula Deen.

+1 rape accusation

Is it a mistake that we named our first kid Deen, then?

So, like, how do I get a job writing for Gawker? I’m a shitty enough writer, but I could probably work on my liberal meme spam.

Shouldn’t you guys have a copy editor? No shade, I just thought Gawker Media would be able to afford it by now, and I feel like it’s pretty standard to have a professional proofreader - I would need one.

Several typos in this article — jarring ones. Names are wrong. And “causes me to stop crying” can’t be right.

She’s an asshole and he’s an asshole. But he put hands on her and it’s his shitty luck that he didn’t call the cops instead of acting and reacting like an asshole when she put hands on him.

Yes, and those bruises on her neck consistent with being choked are also just him defending himself.

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