The only acceptable place for a grown man to wear shorts indoors is an indoor pool.

Greg can only get in if he’s wearing shorts.

I love the fact that he has 20 distinct suits but only two distinct facial expressions.

I would imagine there's going to be a fair amount of cargo shorts in attendance.

Something judgment-proof. I’m sorry, my English is inelegant. I meant to say stain-proof.

Lately I’ve been experimenting with turning my baseball cap around so that the brim is behind me. It seems counter-productive, sure, but I feel it projects a signal that I’m ready to party and would be open to the company of hot babes.

Actually now that I think of it, it might be OKC bombings.

Remember, Giri only wants small talk one way.

I hope I never reach the point where a lack of real human contact compels me to desperately try to discuss the weather while in line at CVS buying toilet paper.

Small talk sucks. Also, there is a world of difference between pleasant and respectful transactions between people you have to deal with and who have to deal with you (The Apple Store) than bullshitting about sports with a stranger when I just want to close my eyes and have you cut my hair for 20 minutes.

If you enjoy small talk, you're probably actively ruining it for someone else.

It is absolutely painful to be trapped somewhere and have to listen to other people’s mindless small talk.

No

In talks with Jesus, he was instructed to hand it off to Marshawn to ensure penetration in her endzone.

I’m sure it was eclectic, rustic, fun, casual, and intimate.

I like the addition of Draymond - it will answer some big questions, like ‘How much padding does a foreskin actually provide?’

The articles has Betteridge’s Law all over it. No reason to read it even. The answer is “no”.

You forgot “Buffets.”